Singapore - A Facade of Lies
Looking back at Singapore, I realised it is an island of mypoicism. A system of rigidity and conformism. A place where people lose their identities and their individualism. To have independent thought is a defect, to say yes and be agreeable to what the government says is a norm. To have your voice heard is a threat to national security. Reporters are told what to write by the state controlled newspapers. Televisions only show what the government wants the people to see. A beautiful garden city it is, with a swiss standard of life. The citizens grow disillusioned at their own surroundings, thinking it is the safest place in the world - at the expense of their freedom.
The citizens have no idea how much money is in the reserves. No idea what the government is doing with their savings. Or is there even a penny left after the recession. All they know is that, the government is doing a fantastic job, so they deserve the world’s highest paying salaries to its ministers for a world class government. No qualms on that, Singaporeans are just too happy to oblige and nod their heads to what the government wishes to do with them. After all, they go through a system of route learning and become obedient servants to the nation by going into occupations that the economy needs, working overtime with low pay and living in small cramped HDB flats. That is life to them, nothing else. To have shelter, good education and a stable job is all they need.
As a national past time, there is always shopping. With so many shopping centers being built every year, it is becoming a playground for the rich. To add to the buzz is the up and coming casinos, yacht facilities and a new downtown at marina bay. I wonder if its citizens feel like tourists in their own island. Commercialisation is the central motivation to every person’s lives. To make money to spend, to dine and wine and lose themselves to the material world. In the city with the highest percentage of millionaires in the world, no doubt they could enjoy their lives in their elite playground till they die.
You see, Singapore is not like any country. It is not a country really, it is a country running as a company - termed as Singapore INC. We employ the best ministers to be the CEOs, the best civil servants as the best employees so as to generate the most revenue for the country’s prosperity. After all, a good economy is the country’s essential survival tool given its fragile shores being flanked by Muslim dominated countries on all sides. The island’s continual survival is questionable, and risky, if the economy weakens, the fear of an attack is very real. This vulnerability is well known amongst its citizens, and this weakness is what makes the citizens subservient to the government gasp of power. For its only resource is human resources, the country does not have water, food produce, minerals - no resources at all in an area size of 693 sq km that it is seen as a dot on the world map.
Despite is fragility, it is also believed to be the safest country in Asia due to the lack of natural disasters. Or rather, it is a lie. After the leader of the terrorist group walked out of jail in broad daylight, the nation’s perceived safety is questionable. Or that there are cases of missing people notices being plastered all over the train stations. Or the brutal butchering of body parts being dumped into Kallang River. Or that a 5 year old girl was killed and thrown into a box hidden under a bridge. The frequency of these cases springing up on news headlines every year in this “safe” nation is sure to raise eyebrows - if this nation is truly safe from its own citizens despite having one of the stiffest penalties in the world?
Is Singapore a facade of lies it wants its citizens to believe in?
That you can only answer.
You can never see yourself
No matter how much I try, I cannot see myself as much as I can observe others. I can discover some hidden talents in others, and their inner mysteries, and many more things about them. For myself, I can’t seem to do the same, I am like an observer on a vantage point of view, looking below. I can’t seem to look at myself.
In turn others can look at me, and tell me what is wrong with myself. That is when I discovered my own talents which I was absolutely not aware of. I truly appreciate their feedback and comments. Somethings just comes naturally to me, so I will not be aware of the gifts I have till someone else identifies it. It goes the same with others as well.
It makes me think again, do we do the things we do to please others or to please ourselves? Or both ways? For many of the things I consciously do, I do it to please myself first, before pleasing others. I used to like to please others by doing things they want me to do, but I realised that is not what I want to do. Thats when I stopped, and took a step back, and started to do things I want.
It is strange that we live in a world that we are so concerned with judgments on us, on the things we do and the way we look. I feel that people pass judgments too easily nowadays from the smallest of things. They tend to magnify the smallest things into the biggest things to gain publicity, and it irks me to think that the media industry is profiteering heavily from sensational news about other people’s personal lives. And that even people are buying those news, that people want to see others in misfortune. Its pretty sad isn’t it? I have stopped reading the news ages ago, now focusing on more lifestyle and self improvement orientated publications. I find more constructiveness in that, rather than to read the plight of other poor souls.
I will be printing a name card for my blog/website soon. It is called a writer’s card? Someone asked what do I do, and I told him that I am a writer, and he asked for my writer’s card, and I didn’t have one. I was slightly embrassed, bu I made it a point to print a copy. It will be so awesome.
The Victorian Romance
This story is dedicated to my secret lover.
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I am there, waiting for you on top of the white marble stairs, wearing a beige and white Victorian evening gown with a low neckline, accentuating my cleavage and with a pearl choker on my neck. The dress fabric clinging on tightly on my skin, lace covered blouse and lavish silk trailed from my skirt all the way to the floor.
I held a white silk satin fan and covered my lips as you walked up the stairs, your eyes taking in all the beauty set before you, white circular columns surround us in front of the grand entrance to the hallway. You took off your top hat and bowed before me, and offered your right arm. I slid my left arm into yours, a sense of security swept over me and we entered the hallway.
A wide white stairs greeted us, and we proceeded up the stairs, arm in arm. I looked around the white house and gold framed paintings covered the walls with portraits and still life. You walked into the cloak room and took off your hat and removed your evening cloak, untying the string in the middle. I watched you quietly outside the room, you took out your cloak and hung it on the nob. Your manliness showed clearly in every movement. You came out of the cloak room and offered your arm once more, I held it and wondered if I am the luckiest girl in this world. I looked at your side profile and saw a man of assurance, of confidence and ready to take on the world stage.
We walked on the carpeted floor towards the grand ballroom where all the rest of the guests are. They turned their heads to look at us as we entered the room. You proudly held my arm and started to entertain the guests with your formal voice. One by one, they came up to us remarked how perfectly matched we are, and how beautiful I looked. I smiled demurely as they turned to look at me. I wanted to hide very much from the embrassment from their comments, but you held me close. You switched the topic to business, and continued talking confidently. I slipped away from your arm and joined the ladies at the back.
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To be continued.
Something Deep
There is this calmness about him, his hard exterior shell, that nothing seems to penetrate. There is this confidence about him, in his every movement, every gesture. That reassuring eyes, that eyes that speak of mysteries. That mind which seems to dive deep into mine, controlling every inch of my senses. When I look at him and lay my hand on his chest, I feel reassured that no one can harm me with him around. His strong arm supporting me from behind, protecting me.
There is this emotional turbulence inside him that I feel on his heart. Deep and intense emotions, like turbulent waves crashing on shores, this emotions run deep inside him. This intense deep emotions smothering inside him, for the things he love. These deep waves consumes him, and we kiss.
There is this mystery about me, that no one will ever know. No one will ever know what I am thinking, or what am I going to do, for I am unpredictable. I hold all the cards in my hands, and play the game, in total control of the situation. I have the upper hand, for I am the queen of hearts. My fingers seduce, my lips entice, my red dress conceals.
There is this burning desire within me, to conquer the skies and leaving red glowing fire trails behind my every move. My phoneix force, dying to get out and awaken. No one has found me, no one has realised, but I know who I am. I am sure you do too. My eyes are burning with desire, to reach out and touch you inside, to tell you its okay, to give you that same reassurance, to go for what you want. For that moment, you felt what heaven feels with me around your body, my fiery tail encircling you, giving you courage. For that moment, you never want me to ever leave you, for you desired me so badly, so badly it hurts.
I fly into the skies once again, leaving you under the waters, where you wish I would find you again.
The Addict Speaks - Screwed Up
Today, I brought a packet of lucky stars (in their paper form), those they used to sell in small provision shops. With the onslaught of fast food, we have fast gifts too. Over time, those small shops stopped selling these lucky stars as people just simply did not have the time to make them. When I saw the shop selling them, it came upon me that humanity can be saved - with just a little more sincerity in the things we do.
All of us have our addictions, for mine, its the pills, without them I won’t be able write like that. Every person I know has an addiction - shopping, gaming, gambling… the list goes on. Why do we need addictions? If you ask me why, I would just simply say the world is screwed up. If the onslaught of commercialisation and slaving our general populance to work, create unnesscary stresses and burdens, and greed did not exist, we will generally be happier, and folding lucky stars. That is my way of coping, by doing so retardedly stupid things that make no sense to practicality.
I am, in fact, very angry and disturbed every time I step out of my door. When I come home at night, I feel sadness again. Sadness for the world, for social inequality, for wide income gaps… for suffering and poverty. I would think each night how to create a just and fair world where everyone would be happy. But in reality, this happy world just does not exist with greed.
Why are you so angsty? Well, maybe, I have more feelings then you do, that I do care about people around me instead of just myself, which we have been conditioned by the world to do so. Which idiot would be a hero and save the rest and give up his own life nowadays? No, everyone would just watch the rest die in front of their eyes and laugh after that, like those twisted movies we see on our screens each day. Slowly, we will learn not to feel, and be automated and shaped by the media, people and government in what sort of appropriate behaviour we are expected to portray.
Push the responsibilities aside! For reponsibilities are non existent now, its you and yourself. What you do with your own life, how you screw it up its up to you. Your parents don’t care, your friends don’t either, you dont have to be responsible for anything. Go steal, rob and rape. Who cares anyway? Its you. You say, you are nuts. But how about you? Are you burdened by how others think of you? Because, it doesnt matter. Its your life.
Go screw up your life, tell me how you feel when that happens.
(or tell me, why don’t you want to screw up your life)
The Addict Speaks - You are Afraid To Hurt Yourself
Well, after reading my last post you must have found me the most skeptical person in the world, don’t you agree? But i have answers for you, answers that you seek. Why do you hide your true self away from the world? Are you afraid to hurt others? No, that is not true at all. I can tell you the real reason why, because, you are are afraid to hurt yourself. Think about that. Ponder over it, before proceeding.
Every human is born pure and good, the world corrupts them slowly and cruelly with all the harshness it throws onto you, blanking you out from a world of light to a world of darkness. That is why, we naturally fear darkness, fear the unknown, fear. That fear cripples us, makes us helpless and weak. That fear, controls you, eats you up inside, and consumes you.
Let me tell you the next universal truth that you should know - fear is imaginary. It is your imagination running wild, but it isn’t there. You created the fear, the fear of yourself. Your fear is an illusion. You can use your mind to conquer it, make it disappear.
Are you loving me now? After all, I am The Addict, the most morbid person you will ever find that will forcibly drench a pail of cold water on your face to wake you up inside. I am probably, your worst fear, because I am able to tell you the truths you been hiding from. Do you agree not?
How do you conquer fear? It is simple actually, it is just one four letter word that embodies the essence of the world - love. Love conquers fear. The next time you meet the person you love, give him/her a hug, and tell me how you feel.
Are you loving me? Yes, I am loving you too. Catch me if you can.