The Shimmering Glow Part (3)

I rushed in joy towards the shimmering glow, it was beautiful under the star lit skies. Curiousity drew me closer and closer towards the reflection. I ran as fast as I could… I heard my heart thumping louder and louder as it drained my vision. My focus became weak as my eyes closed and opened reluctantly, I shook my head to remain focused on the sight, but it became a blur and I fell into a long sleep…

I opened my eyes and found myself standing upright in the middle of a crowded room, I was small and tiny as compared to the adults who were towering like giants above me. They were busy chattering away as they drank from crystal glasses. I looked around for my parents and they were no where to be found. The adults were exchanging their credit cards for chips at the counter before proceeding to gamble at the tables. Wow! I thought to myself, I want to be like one of them when I grew up too, as I was so small amongst them, they seemed not to notice me as they walked around the room. Suddenly, they all stood still and all the heads turned towards the direction of the doorway, I looked around, expecting danger. To my surprise, a ravishing beauty in black came through the door. Her facial features were soft and angelic, her skin fair and flawless… she smiled like a shinning star as she walked passed me, I caught sight of her sleek calves in black high heels as it brushed passed my hair. All the men were watching her intensely as she sat down gently on a chair to open her miniature bag with her delicate fingers to take out some chips to play. Even the dealer was stunned for a few seconds before he composed himself and shuffled the cards for the game. She was perfect – the most perfect woman that I ever seen, her feminity was her source of strenght and confidence. Her eyes had no fear or helplesses in them, unlike all the other women I ever seen. “I want to be like her when I grow up.” I told myself as the mirage of the place disappeared and I found myself looking at the stars with my back to the sand.

Hour Glass Part (2)

I stopped to look at the vastness of the desert. Somehow it feels too quiet, in fact, it was absolutely quiet. I could hear my footsteps and my heart thumping in excitement. I squat down to touch the sand, the grains filtered through my fingers. It reminded me of an hour glass I used to own. I would watch it for hours as the grains fell down on the other side of the glass. I would turn it up and down repeatedly to entertain myself. The grains somehow reminded me of myself, the insignificance I was compared to the millions and millions of others who were like me in this game of life. We are all just tiny grains compared to the galaxy, just fragments of imagination. The grains appear solid but they are in fact, vibrating molecules. Even then, I could see every molecule vibrate with my mind’s eye, glued together by an invisible force.

I was very sensitive to people, sometimes I could “see” what others were thinking. I can predict what they would say next, it only came naturally. I thought that it was natural, so I did not speak most of the time, thinking that others can read minds like I could. Soon, I learnt that this is not an ability everyone had. I could be easily be mistaken for a mute. I liked to look at people when they talk, their behaviour was very intriging. Every person had a different set of pattern and way of holding a cup of coffee, tone of voice or movements. I was curiously drawn to people, not soft toys or barbie dolls like girls of my age. People reading was a much interesting child’s play.

I was very shy in front of strangers as I was afraid of them. I would hide behind my mother’s skirt as they looked at me, trying to grab my cheeks as I dodged their attacks. Before they raised their hands I would somehow know where they would land and move away before they could touch me. As my parents brought me out every once in a while, I developed a habit of shunning people by hiding in dark places. Hiding in clothes hangers was a great way to being undiscovered. During dinner time, I would hide under the table as well. So, there I was having fun with myself in my little corner by staring into blankness.

I got upright and dusted the fallen sand on my skirt before I continued walking. I saw something shimmering in the distance, it was glowing silverish in colour, like a mirror reflection of the stars…

Windows (Part 1)

I was five years old. I looked out the metal grilled window, seeing nothing. I turned around back into the room, and saw the walls. The wall that seem to trap me within, suffocating my senses as they drew closer and closer. I looked up at the ceiling for a route of escape, it seems to swirl and move. I continued titling my head up above to look at the white ceiling, as it spinned. It spinned the world into it, as I floated upwards and sucked my body into the hole in the middle, I emerged on the other side as the hole behind me vanished.

Where am I? I asked myself, but it did not seem to matter. It was a new world, a world away from the white cage. Unlike the previous world, it was completely dark with stars glittering in the skies. I walked on the sandy paths as my feet sunk into the sand, barefooted. It felt cold and chilly, I only had a little flower printed dress on me, which I liked particularly as my mother gave it me. It has a huge ribbon at the back, which she was fond of tying it into a perfect knot before we went out of the house. I was always accompanied by my mother but this time, I was alone. Somehow, this was a different feeling from anything else – I enjoyed the immerse freedom that I had suddenly without anyone around. I skipped on the sand as I cheerfully began on a new found journey of discovering the new world that lies beyond the ceiling.

I am 18 feet under

where you can’t hear me

howl and curse and swear

with all my might

I am 18 feet under

With sand piling on my body

buried alive

I am 18 feet under

suffocating and choking

in dust

I am 18 feet under.

Wired in, wired out
Industrial metal intertwining
Connectivity, broadcasting
Absorbed into globalising
Leveled surface, light fast traveling
Into the future, and beyond

A potent mix of

poison

Stirring black
and lethal

Dissolving into an intoxicating
elixir
of death

A sleep that is never to be awoken from…

A dream in eternal blackness

Drifting into another world

Down the rabbit hole

Down the tunnel

Down and down

There is no end….

Yours is a fake smile
On a sky of blue

Your words speak of beauty
Yet ugliness reside in your tongue

You do good deeds
Filled with evil intentions

You look upon yourself as
divine and godly to be feared by all

But all you are is a mere human

Aimless souls

walking on

the surface

of the earth

The devil summons

Sell your soul

to the material

and be rewarded

with riches

Will you sell your soul?

There is something I cannot control
There is something I cannot face

This part of me, taking over
The other side of me.

She smiles wickedly
and yields a knife in her hands

I look in horror, as she cuts me up alive
Laughing at her pleasure | languishing in my pain

She takes away my beating heart
Chewing it in her jaws | fainting from blankness

She cuts splits my face into two
And traces the knife across my left eye towards my cheeks

She disappears into the darkness
As I lay disfigured, dead and cold.

Have you ever heard

The sound of a thousand piano keys filtering through the cold air
The screeching sound of a thousand nails on the wall

Have you ever felt

Your heart pounding on your chest 100 beats per minute
Your mind aching from all the pain that you topple on your knees

Have you ever fallen

Into a deep hole, that you try to climb but never reach the end
Into a deep sleep, that you can hear a voice trying to wake you up
as you fall deeper and deeper back into the hole.

Have you ever?

A merry go round goes round and round
Taking its riders through a journey of self
The scenery each round appears to be different
From different things that the eyes notice

Be it a candy floss on the floor, the trees swinging
in the wind, or the joyful parent looking at their
child while laughing away and snapping memories.
An everlasting adventure that changes at every turn.

She crawls into an empty box
It offers solidute and comfort
She hugs her knees and peers outside
Her eye lids never closes
She is tired, and wants to rest.

She took a knife from behind her back
And slices it through her neck
She feels her warm blood flowing down
her body as her eyes look up towards her
own soul. She looks at herself down below
and waves good bye to her body. She travels
into the light and sees her long lost brother.

He smiles at her and offers a hand, they
run together across the fields. Their fond times
drift back into her memory, and she knew that he was waiting.

She had longed so much to join him in the skies, where they could dance all day in the rainbows. There was no end to their happiness and joy, she had always loved him, and now, they can be happily together forever in eternal bliss.