The flow attempts to crush me
Conform me into a molded clay
Like plastic clay, into figurines
That cracks when it is broken

I will control the flow before it takes me.

Evolution. There is only one path.
To survive as the victors, or perish.

Lost in reverie
The silence and stillness
A fleeting dreamscape
She is standing there
… I can’t see her but she is smiling
Surrounded by angels
In a peaceful sleep.

cracking. shattering. blood.

All over and over, it repeats like a cyclone.
Every night, in her dreams, her bloody visions and tainted fingers.
In haunting night mares, in tears and sweat.

She is the vixen on the dance floor
The conqueror of emperors and kings.
Cleopatra personified, the face of Helen and the poison of ivy
She is, the queen of hearts.

A deadly venus flytrap, a conscience without.

A personal intepretation of Lady Gaga’s video “marry the night” which explores her inner psyche on why she wanted to become a star as “she had nothing else to lose”, before pouring cheezos and dying her hair blonde while nude in a bathtub.

This video is done with a macbook webcam, photo booth, and iMovie, a very random interpretation by me really (a one lady show (or rather, a solely Averal production). This is a tribute to her journey.

—-

Lady Gaga – Marry The Night

I’m gonna marry the night
I won’t give up on my life
I’m a warrior queen
Live passionately tonight

In this song, Marry the Night – means independence and freedom from everything… no strings attached, just living passionately for life and what it has to offer for the moment.

I’m gonna marry the dark
Gonna make love to the stark
I’m a soldier to my own emptiness
I am a winner

I’m gonna lace up my boots
Throw on some leather and cruise
Down the streets that I love
In my fishnet gloves
I’m a sinner

This paragraph might seem that she is becoming a prostitute walking on the streets in leather and fishnet gloves and such, but it is the direct opposite, it means she is regaining her independence and femininity as a woman to freely express her individuality and who she is, despite what social norms and conventions might think.

Then I’ll go down to the bar
But I won’t cry anymore
I hold my whiskey up high
Kiss the bartender twice
I’m a loser

Nothing’s too cruel
To take me from you
New York is not just a tan that you’ll never lose
Love is the new denim or black
Skeleton guns or wedding bells in the attic
Get Ginger ready cos I’m coming up front
Won’t poke holes in the seat with my heels cos that’s
Where we make love

Another assertion of independence to make love to whoever she wants freely. She is a total woman in control of her sexuality and her independence. It might seem masculine, but whats wrong with being a sinner when it is a woman’s right to be one anyway? It is a modern western concept that woman can make love to whoever she wants freely without attachment.

I’m gonna marry the night
I’m gonna burn a hole in the road
I’m gonna marry the night
Leave nothing on these streets to explore

Lyrics from Lady Gaga – Marry The Night.

—-

A new tripod with iphone compatibility to create new visual expressions.

One pierced with sorrows of the past, into her heart, a metal dislodged underneath her skin, leaving a permanent scar – her innocence, driven her to desperation – if only he could see her insanity for him – if only. he loved her.

The other, with an obsession with occupying her void, not wanting any silence in her world – for it tears her insides out – if there is no sound left, she would scream till the sun cracks the skies.

The last, with the responsibility – to balance their insanity – into a realism – he shoulders the responsibility – but is not clear either – if he is in a sesha dream or a world of sex and drugs.

You & me on the dance floor on top of the world
I broke a heel, but it does not matter with you
as my sidekick in the dark

We poured our hearts out to each other that night
The revelations and reveries of our escapades
Was it real? Or is this all a dream and you are
just a fragment of my creation in a dream.

Or that I am in a dream, dreaming of you, and that all these are not real, but a reflection of my innermost desires to be more like you?

Why? There are just too many distractions – too much traveling, too much work, too much changes. I have been trying to do a simple act of just sitting down to – write, but it seems almost impossible in this age of connectivity. There is facebook lurking in the corner, the email inbox ringing with messages, there are just a thousand and one things to do. It is never ending… o my, no wonder I feel so overwhelmed to create new works of art!

I came across Zen Habits – Focus, and it has been very useful so far. As of today, I have changed my desktop wall paper to a nature scene – a sea of endless waves on my sleek iMac. My Google search screen shows a magnificent waterfall. I have tuned into Last FM – Tibetan Music. I have uncluttered my home, threw out all the things we do not need. My home is only filled with the bare minimal – without a television. I am making it a routine to stay disconnected from the internet by going to the cafe or lounging by the afternoon sun on my window seat.

I have to go back to the mode of creation, without creation, what is life?

I think recently I have an issue on caring too much on what do people think of me when they view my writings. No, my writings and my personal life are two entirely separate issues. My life is wonderful, I have a beautiful family, a beautiful home, a small supporting group of friends… my life is perfection as the way I live it. I am an avid reader, and reading inspires me to write.

I will begin writing actively from now on, an hour or two a day.
This is a new start.