Its been a long time since I wrote on this virtual wall.
Or done any Scarlet Queen videos.
Or penned any poetry
Or just write for the sake of writing.
I wish I could find some answers
I am a little lost at the moment
A confused circle of circus
Sometimes I wish I can express myself more freely
After all, its one of the fundamental human liberties to do so.
If I was living in a time, like the age of enlightenment
I would aspire to be a philosopher, probably an erotic one.
No, I was joking. A better word, would be to be a controversial philosopher.
I am lost because I had found my prince
But I am unsure of what to do in the future
I am lost because I have not closed my past
If there is even closure to begin with
Maybe, life doesn’t give any closures
It just keeps moving, there is no end to things
that happen, or happened, or has happened.
Insomnia nights, nights that the lights don’t go off
Even after turning off the lights, they come on again
as bright as the headlights of your car in my mind
They are the nights that consume, that questions, that asks
If there is a validity of existence, if there is any salvation if there is any
I am just disappointed.
Disappointed with life
Disappointed with what I had done
Disappointed with some people
Disappointed, at not being enough.
I am disappointed, despondent, and down.
It will be some time before I pick up where I had left off.
Once I find that peace, I might move on from here.
For now, I am in the woods.
Hoping to be found.
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AVERRAL writes under pen name Scarlet Risqué. She stars in Scarlet Queen YouTube with over a million views. She holds a degree in business. The RED HOURGLASS is ranked Top 50 Espionage Thriller on Amazon. She is currently writing the sequels to the Hourglass Series. Grab a free copy of her novel now RED HOURGLASS on Amazon |
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