Over commitment.
Would be the best words to describe my current state.
Is having three calenders living out different identities normal?
Humans have many different levels of needs, maybe I am experiencing and fulfilling them all in different ways to serve my ego. The self actualisation need is why I continue writing on this virtual blog space. The sense to reorganize and re-control what is the foundational core of my base personality.
On my butterfly wings, are the many projects I concurrently run simultaneously. Not alone of course, I have to engage the help of vendors, supporting cast, to get the acts together to near the projects completion. My mind, is an architect mind indeed. I don’t know how to describe it but in my visions I am creating new realities like no other, in my dreams, in my visions in the things I do, each day, I try to bring it forth to reality.
That is the ultimate creator mode that I aspire to achieve but sometimes I fall and don’t get my bearings right, and everything clutters up like squeeze balls. Too much traveling has became detrimental to my organizational skills, I need to slow down on my wanderlust aspect.
Knowing I have people dependent on my performance, and consumers waiting to buy my creations keep me going. But sometimes I feel time is running faster than I can run against it. I try to do everything I can really fast, and outsource everything I can possibly outsource. But sometimes when it comes down to it, I have to do the most important, crucial tasks. And the responsibility gear shifts to gear four. It gets very stressful when the bottom line hits, and everything is all about results.
The results, is usually calculated by numbers. How many people are viewing, subscribing, consuming, buying. How many clients are satisfied. How many viewers are dreaming about your creations. The overall impact of the artist architect creations is the sum of how successful he has achieved his aim.
In reality, I would like more monetary resources to get more acts come together. For example, I envision filming a full length movie about The Scarlet Queen. I also envision a team working behind my Red Hourglass series. At the same time, I still do consultancy work. I enjoy it. no doubt. Maybe my mind is just meant to run on multiple tracks, and not one track.
Maybe I am finally living out my fullest potienial.
And instead of living the shadow life, I am living the professional life.
Turning Pro. Best book ever on finding one’s calling. I highly recommend it.
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AVERRAL writes under pen name Scarlet Risqué. She stars in Scarlet Queen YouTube with over a million views. She holds a degree in business. The RED HOURGLASS is ranked Top 50 Espionage Thriller on Amazon. She is currently writing the sequels to the Hourglass Series. Grab a free copy of her novel now RED HOURGLASS on Amazon |
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