As of this year April, I decided to pursue my artistry on a full time basis. There are doubts and fears, I was afraid. I was letting go of the old life I had before. But there was always something lacking in my life that I was running from. And I knew I wasn’t cut out for one fixed role. As I don’t feel comfortable working in just one medium for prolonged periods of time, I had to diversify my art forms. I decided to do these three things: write, act and dance.
As what Steven Pressfield said, you can divide your life into two once you turn pro – life before turning pro, and life after turning pro. I truly agree. Before I turned professional in my artistry, I was living a shadow life. A life of a shadow drama. I was running away from my true calling, from my drive to create. I was focused on the numbers, climbing the career ladder, doing businesses that brought me materialistic objects but no comfort to my soul. If you ask me, I regret running from my artistry for so long. I was hiding from it. I was denying it. I was trying to be a part time pro. But there is no such thing. It is a decision – to be professional or not to be professional. There is no in-between.
In my quest to turn pro, I sought for mentors. I read thecreativepenn.com and followed her books like a religion. I revised Robert Greene books. I read everything I could to ready myself for the climb ahead. I am in it for the long haul. I gave myself a time line of five years to make it or break it. If I do not make it by the end of five years, I will go back to my career, save up, and try again.
After equipping myself sufficiently with knowledge and putting security back up plans measures in place, I started my life of turning pro:
Firstly, I decided to get my full fledge website http://thescarletqueen.com up and running. I had for years, imagined about this website which was not in existence. With the will of my imagination, I brought it forth to the world. That website will contain my finished artistry. This blog will be the documentation of the process (behind the scenes). I needed to maintain this blog at averral.com to still my mind and detach from my creations.
Secondly, I started my patreon account. Patreon allows fans to become patrons of the artist. For it to work, monthly rewards have to be given out. I decided to do more for the rewards, I will record an addition of: a video, an audio and release my draft writings for my fans to see before their publication. So far, it’s working out well. I am glad that now technology allows artists to connect with fans instantly.
Thirdly, I sent myself for counseling, dancing and acting classes. Most professional actors consult a counselor to bring out their best performances. I signed up for three dance performance teams. When my character Risque started to control my life, as I was unable to snap out of character; I consulted an acting coach. He said my character outgrew my personality. I have to develop my own personality and balance out my character Risque. What is unique to your own personality that Risque doesn’t have? He asked. After a week or so, I succeeded in finding the differentiation factor between myself and Risque, and it’s truly humorous. All I have to do after filming Risque or Cheryl right now is to watch comedy. I just had to laugh and be happy to cheer myself up. My default mood is cheerful. That’s how I get back to my own personality after an intense performance.
Fourthly, I found an editor and writing buddy. We work and send each other our drafts and communicate via email almost daily. It’s like going to work, instead of emailing clients or colleagues, I am communicating with my editor and buddy on my work in progress and my mental state. Mental state is crucial in writing the best pieces. I entered myself for the national poetry and short story competition (which I both lost). I was never good at winning competitions anyway.
I resumed rewriting the Red Hourglass, which I had been writing on and off over four years. But this time, I was determined to complete it for year end publication. I set the publication date as 30th October. With a deadline, there is no excuse. As writing a novel day to night for about ten hours a day can be extremely boring, I started writing something else fun on the side – Butterfly, which has a more erotic twist to it. It’s my entertainment. I find it easy to write that, compared to the large task of writing a novel. I would write Butterfly during my breaks. I decided to turn it into a little novella as I see potential in this work.
Lastly, I set a schedule of what I have to produce by the end of every month. My current schedule goes like this:
1. Four YouTube videos a month
2. One Private Patreon video
3. One Private Patreon Risque audio
4. Releasing of Butterfly drafts for Patreon
5. Writing/editing Red Hourglass about 2 – 8 hours a day, 5 days a week
6. Dance classes about three times a week
7. Counselor / Acting Coach when needed
I spend my remaining time replying to fan mails, watching videos of dance performances, and thinking what to film, write or create for my future books/videos.
…
Since turning pro, I wake up before my alarm. My life is restored of it’s meaning. I no longer procrastinate or fear of becoming who I really am. I learnt over time to accept I have kinky desires that are unmet. I am not afraid to speak up and act upon my convictions. I stand by my artistic creations and take responsibility for them. I no longer care about what the people around me think about my creations, they are a separate entity from me. I am who I am, my creations are just creations. I wake up daily, thinking about the truth love and beauty I am restoring to this world, and that I am a vessel who has dedicated her life to the pursuit of art.
My life after turning pro is beautiful, it’s sublime.
The sacrifice ?
I know my old life has to go. I let go of my business and my staff. I reduced my expenditure and leisure time. I put more time into my work compared to before. I no longer seek for distractions like playing games or facebooking. Old people in my life disappeared as new ones appeared. New friends and fans who help me to achieve my artistic goals.
If given the choice, I would have turned pro earlier.
I highly recommend Steven Pressfield book, Turning Pro.
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AVERRAL writes under pen name Scarlet Risqué. She stars in Scarlet Queen YouTube with over a million views. She holds a degree in business. The RED HOURGLASS is ranked Top 50 Espionage Thriller on Amazon. She is currently writing the sequels to the Hourglass Series. Grab a free copy of her novel now RED HOURGLASS on Amazon |
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