I am a spinning top, but when I fall there are no safety nets.
Just pure darkness, into the deep black hole, pulled inwards by gravity.
I am darkness and light, pain and pleasure.
I can’t tell the difference and I don’t want to.
In my twisted visions there is no reprieve from the falling,
no savoir at the end of the tunnel.
No light in the dark caverns.
There is nothing left except an empty hole.
I used to believe in happy ever afters, in love, in marriage… in kids. I used to. Now I don’t. I am a tired spent mess. In this messy maze, I cannot get out of… I can only believe in fairy tales. Why? Because I gave up on real life, and live in fantasy. In my fantasy world, I can be the Queen.. I can be supernova, I can be the light. I can save myself from the dark caverns and be that knight, instead of waiting for one. I have to find that rainbow wings to emerge out of the cocoon shell.
Sometimes I ask, if sacrificing my sanity for my art is all worth it, sometimes I say yes, sometimes I say no. But eventually I realised that it is a resonating yes. The meaning of life is the act of creation itself. There is no need for anything else. Even love suffocates you.
But creations?
They are forever.
They live on in the milky galaxy.
They never disappear.
This is my sadness and joy.
 |
AVERRAL writes under pen name Scarlet Risqué. She stars in Scarlet Queen YouTube with over a million views. She holds a degree in business. The RED HOURGLASS is ranked Top 50 Espionage Thriller on Amazon. She is currently writing the sequels to the Hourglass Series. Grab a free copy of her novel now RED HOURGLASS on Amazon |
Learn about secrets to flawless make-up free skin at DR Secret 
