I fear for the condition of my mind as I tap into the past for the energies to make my writings come alive. Maybe having an almost perfect memory for words, situations and interactions is not a good thing. The mind remembers what it wants to remembers, by distorting what happened to become acceptable to what has happened. This distortion occurs to protect the ego.
Having an almost crystal clear 3D rendering of maps, puzzles and games is great for strategy but weak in linear thinking. Doing something repeatively makes me sad. My life, is like a loop and every time I try to walk out I am back to the same beginning.
My sadness is deepening like a huge gulf that seperates my reality from my dreams. I want to break free but when I do, the pervasive sadness seeps into my bones, crippling my movements, destroying my dreams.
My kingdom has fallen. It has. My mission has failed. The clearing now is to move on from a blank state. I believe I can recreate and reconstruct my reality. It can work when people see, understand and partake in the same clause.
As of now I will wait for the sadness to subside to create a happier tomorrow.
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AVERRAL writes under pen name Scarlet Risqué. She stars in Scarlet Queen YouTube with over a million views. She holds a degree in business. The RED HOURGLASS is ranked Top 50 Espionage Thriller on Amazon. She is currently writing the sequels to the Hourglass Series. Grab a free copy of her novel now RED HOURGLASS on Amazon |
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