Why try, when all evidence leads to hopelessness?

The

Existential

question, why even try, with the knowledge of trying no matter what
it all points back at nothingness?

Increasingly in my journey and quest for perfection, I am meeting the road block, also known as existential crisis. It is a point where one realizes there is no point in doing whatever we are doing, because at the end of the day we are all going to die and our artwork or message might never be understood or conveyed. Watching Cloud Atlas (2012) made me realize this situation in another level, as compared to what I thought previously, which was to try and try using the sheer will power of my mind.

At this stage, I realize that the act of trying when everyone is failing, is indeed fighting against a hopeless cause, like trying to move a stone with a raindrop. To move boulders we need strong tides and waves, even a tsunami! One single rain drop, or rain can’t do shit, it just erodes the rock over time but does not move it, maybe it will disintegrate into sand over the course of millions of years but it does not solve the fundamental problem – which is to freaking move the dam rock.

As my comprehension of the situation of the world we live in grows in strength each day, the more I feel that others around me do not see what I see, thus increasing my isolation and the tendency to be misunderstood. The more I feel the suffering of others, the more I feel that there is a lack of empathy in our human race, for the drive to be competitive outweighs the basic integrity and ethnics on what it is to be a human with a heart. In this sense, my current life philosophy is leaning towards Taoism, or also known as The Way. It is the action of doing nothing, to achieve everything. Sounds pretty deep and complex, but it utilizes the way of the natural order to move objects naturally, instead of “forcing” things to happen. That is a mental form I am trying to cultivate.

As the waves of globalization take control of our basic resources and monetary system, the divide becomes more apparent. The skilled and unskilled, the rich and poor, the inequality and income gaps. Thomas Friedman was right, the world is flat. I am glad I am an outlier in the equation (being a writer with the ability to detach and see what is happening objectively). If I am in the rat race itself, it would not seem so clear to me – this madness we are living in, chasing dreams we cannot attain, collecting mountains of mortgage debt that cannot be repaid. I am glad I understand the way the system works (with a combination of my business degree background and understanding of human nature), but in the process, I see the obvious so easily, the obvious mistakes people are making, that is worrying.

Which brings me back to the point of the existential crisis – why even try? Even my very own friends can’t be bothered to try, why the hell should I try to be different. I guess, instead of living life like a goldfish, we humans have a choice to take control and choose the life we want to lead. In the process of which, I guess it is worth trying although it all points at hopelessness.

At this point of my journey, I am a hopeless convert towards realism after worshiping Robert Greene, and that itself brings me back to the realization of meaningless of existence, that would be the new direction of where my works will take me – the seeking for and forging of an identity in a chaotic world that makes no sense.

AVERRAL writes under pen name Scarlet Risqué. She stars in Scarlet Queen YouTube with over a million views. She holds a degree in business. The RED HOURGLASS is ranked Top 50 Espionage Thriller on Amazon. She is currently writing the sequels to the Hourglass Series. Grab a free copy of her novel now RED HOURGLASS on Amazon

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