Sometimes waking up completely hating myself, in this self sabotage mess. They say the artist and architect are one and the same. The addict and artist, they are paradoxes. I am addicted to my emotions, but sometimes they do not serve me. They go haywire and threaten to undo all that is done. It drives my thoughts wild with illogical faculties.
Maybe I am just pushing myself too hard.
Or the traveling is starting to cause my fatigue.
Maybe I am doing too much in a short span of time.
I can feel my aliveness and deadness at the same time, my push and pull. My swings. They consume and eat me. I am a fcked switch. Light or darkness, I don’t know. They are eating eating eating, working working working, fcking fcking fcking. They are driving me mad!
Hong Kong is increasingly making me moody except for the fact that Milk Tea exists. I hate Hong Kong. I gota admit it’s not the best place for an introvert. No space, stuffy rooms, locked windows. Screaming kids, blaring advertisements. Snacks, consume, Buy, advertisements, MORE. Spend it all.
Get me out of here. I need some oxygen, I need to feel inspiration. The creativity, the life. It is all missing. I am being suffocated by fifty stories high buildings on all directions. The skies are not lighted by stars but golden windows. Those golden windows, eating up the earth resources.
But time kills, and time erases… time… is the real enemy.
Our time is running out.
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AVERRAL writes under pen name Scarlet Risqué. She stars in Scarlet Queen YouTube with over a million views. She holds a degree in business. The RED HOURGLASS is ranked Top 50 Espionage Thriller on Amazon. She is currently writing the sequels to the Hourglass Series. Grab a free copy of her novel now RED HOURGLASS on Amazon |
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