“To be, or not to be– that is the question.” Shakespeare
The world we exist in relies heavily on relationships to make us who we are. Hence the identity of “who I am” is the sum of the characters of our life. Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players.”
A misunderstanding starts when a brand new concept of being is introduced into someone’s world. Suddenly, they are challenged to become a new being to fit into a new status quo of what is “acceptable”. Some people embrace change, others, resist change.
My uncle resisted me studying overseas when he said, “don’t bring back your western ideas.” He has good intentions, but he believes that I should be a housewife as a full time career option. Although I had highlighted to him that it is not possible for modern day women to pursue that, he still firmly believes a woman’s place of happiness is at home and men should be providers.
I do look up to him as a Big Uncle and over the years, over many insistence to him that the lifestyle of staying at home to look after the family and not have a job for my generation of women due to the way society is structured is not an option. After much insistence on my part, he finally agreed that women can do both – work in a career and have a family life.
Hence by overcoming that conversation with my uncle over a period of a few years and few encounters, he now accepts that I am a business woman who also is able to have a family life. This has fundamentally shifted his way of looking at modern day women as probably, his previous conversations with my cousins and aunts had not worked either as he had aspired for us to be happy housewives with a great (interior) family life but all of us ended up working and having ambitious (exterior) goals in life. Now that I had shifted that we can do both (interior) family goals and (exterior) work goals, he now accepts that women do both.
Sometimes all it takes is a continuous stand before the relationship shifts from “unaccepted” to becoming “accepted”. An introduction of a new idea or concept causes an evolution of the mind itself to re-define and re-accept the new state of the way things are. The shift is not about “changing” but it is about “evolving”. Hence resistance sets in when there is an evolution happening.
Consider that your immediate relationships is the key to causing your own evolution and the moment that one stops to listen to other characters on stage, the play stops. There is no ACT 2. Life stops at ACT 1 and stagnates slowly till we die. The moment we start listening to others, life moves on to ACT 2, and it becomes a new state of who we are. Now, my uncle is proud of my business achievements and family achievements and shares with other members of the family they should aspire to have both. He has moved to ACT 2 of life and is now is receptive to my “western” ideas as well and that maybe me going overseas to study has allowed me to converse well with him in a way that he has reconciled that old and new world.
From my observations at the Thrillerfest, it is easy to determine who is a best selling author or mid tier author from the way the author speaks. It doesn’t matter what he or she wears or presents or talks about. It can be a joke, or trivia or some historical or news. It lies with the author’s voice. The way an author speaks is the difference between a good or great author.
Some authors had worked twenty years, forty years or some barely a year before they make it big. So, it is not the case of time spent on craft (10 000 rule does not apply in the world of writing). Neither it is about connections as all writers have to go through agents, who have to go through publishers and then the customers pick out the books from the shelves. There is a lead time from zero to all.
The probability of this game is determined by the market. Hence connections of a writer is not a factor. Neither is inherited background as writers have to create a brand name for themselves and cannot inherit another author’s name. A son of a famous author can write the same kind of books and publish in the same genre, but the market may not respond to it positively and the publisher can drop the son off due to poor book sales. If the earnings cannot sustain the author, the author will eventually quit the business to pursue another lucrative trade.
How the market accepts a writer is the same way on how a country accepts a politician. It has to be in the time frame of the world that they want this genre of writing. For example, the latest trend of best selling books now is adult colouring books which is available in every major bookstore. It is linked to people wanting to return to a time and place where they are children again and free of expression whereby they can create and draw expressively. Hence the trend now is books that allows people to be be free of expression (before the colouring trend was Fifty Shades of Grey).
The next trend is not predictable, only the writer can produce that creation he sees that the world needs. Hence the key lies in the writer’s voice as it is linked to the soul of the writer and his greatest authenticity. Sad to say, most great writers will never be acknowledged in their lifetimes like most great leaders. I loved the Great Gatsby and I was sad to hear the writer did not get that acknowledgement that he wrote the great American novel before he died. His voice was pure and it has resonated with me that I had to check out the Long Island mansions of his vision way past his time.
At the end of this post, I realised the detriment of quality of leaders and writers is due to the detriment of the market who do not support great works, neither they support great leaders of our time. We currently live in a civilised world lead by puppets who are trying to appease everyone, but they do not have a stand of frontier for humanity to reach to next. In my lifetime, I would like for the world to unite as one and end all wars and suffering. By doing this, we can finally travel to outer space and explore the universe beyond this world. This is my greatest dream and writing about this makes it possible for others to believe in this vision once again.
“The future now occurs in language.” Landmark Insights
I have created a clearing for the trip of my lifetime to get an agent for my book. It had ran/avoided this purpose due to an incident that was stopping me from crossing this threshold point. Now, I had been freed of this limitation.
In the future now, I am inventing the possibility of becoming a world renowned author. This is my invention since I had started on the Leadership Program. I will continue to get coaching for my lifetime. Learning is a never ending journey.
I have created a space during the past few weeks by delivering undelivered correspondence. This clearing has freed me up to a new realm of being authentic. The conversations amongst my family and friends has deepened in a profound way.
On a daily basis, I am moved to tears, or moved into action. I am living each day like my last, and in the process of which I am speeding up in my tasks and execution speed. More is done in a less period of time. My calendar is full. My daily life is well spent. Not a minute is lost or gained. It’s only the future now that exists and this is all it matters.
From my conversations with people, I can now identify what they are “avoiding”. In this sense, I am able to find the root of their suffering and ease them into releasing the pain. Sometimes all it takes to save a life is a phone call, or a message, “Hi, how are you?”. It could mean the difference between life and death.
Sometimes we are unaware of the power of language we have over others in their decisions in their lives. I am, myself responsible for the damages I had done on others in the past due to my inability to control my language by hurling hurtful words in the heat of anger. Now, I have more control to repair and mend those broken relationships by reconciling that it was unintentional and I still love them.
Last week, I mended a relationship with my girlfriend after we had an argument. For one year, we did not talk. I terribly missed her. I called to say, “I am sorry.” Our friendship is now back in existence. What is the price of that? It’s priceless to have a friend.
The access and tools we have to life is the generative power of language, in this sense, Landmark enables us to get to the root of the language and recreate the future now.
Since letting go of attachment to results, I had been freed into another realm of possibility. Rejection means nothing to me now, there is no anger. There is no rage. There is nothingness. The internal dialogue has ceased to control my actions. Now, my vision is crystal clear. I was watching a documentary yesterday about who we are more likely to help – a successful young woman or a middle age biker. I felt more drawn to the biker although majority of people would choose the former. It seems that all these statistical tests and “norm” behaviour does not apply to me now. The power of the Landmark Advanced Course is finally sinking down after a few weeks.
It is insane how much we are conditioned and controlled by our contexts. Breaking out is the key to true freedom and power. I have always wanted to break out and reach my fullest potential as a human being to be fully expressive and excel in all that I do. Now, tasks are completed at the fraction of the time, my energy level is doubled and all tasks now have equal importance and my results are as such – increase in 55% of sales. My relationships have hit a new frontier after being present for people and listening to what they truly need. Now, I reject what I do not want. I choose my seats in the restaurant instead of someone else choosing it for me. Once I issue a request, the universe replies me with what I need. I have finally understood what it meant by “when one finger moves, the universe bends to it’s will.”
Watching the latest X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) was a brand new occurrence to me. I found myself in Jean Grey’s shoes. It is the best movie I had watched in many years after X-Men: The Last Stand (2006). Wow, it has been almost a decade since I had been mind blown and forced to re-evaluate my life after watching a movie. I believe that the human potential is largely untapped and with the right guidance, we can finally unleash the hidden powers within us. Usually in the moments of crisis, mutants mutate and discover the extent of their powers. Under normal circumstances, we will continue to live ordinary lives with no impact to the world till we discover the answer within us.
Humans do have the ability to mutate under certain conditions. I believe that mutation is part of evolution for the survival of a species. In biological terms, if the mutation is advantageous to the species (such as fishes developing a certain colour that predators are unable to detect), the mutation will eventually take over the entire colony and the species will evolve to be in that undetectable colour.
I believe the next evolution of humans is the function of tapping into untapped potential of the mind. In the book The Effective Executive by Peter F. Drucker, he predicts that eventually manual jobs would be automated by the functions of an executive. In theory, one executive could perform the jobs of 200 men through the usage of technology. The battlefield of the corporate world will no longer lie with whose company is bigger or have more financial or government backing. Eventually, the function of small lean start ups will take over big dinosaurs and evolve at at faster speed. We are already witnessing this by the rise of Facebook, Twitter, Tesla. Whatsapp was a two man operation till they sold at the billions.
Power lies fundamentally within each one of us to create the next evolution, to change the world to end suffering. Impact starts with the movement of one finger, to one small action, to ripple effect throughout society. I will never stop writing, for this is my power. The power of language is the most powerful tool in the world. We invent the world we live in by the language we use. I am now committed to mastering my identity, reality and language to move to the next frontier. Bring it on!
The extent of Jean Grey’s Powers in X Men – The Last Stand
My muse is Gackt Camui and a dose of classical music. It sends my imagination spiraling down a rabbit hole of time and space that once upon a time, I was in another realm of fantasy with my beloved. The modern society is filled with soul destroying statistical numerical digits to be placed on our identity cards and stamped as a grade. Ratings, reviews, appraisal. The need to look good and be accepted. To win awards and gain fame. These are pointless needs at the end of the day, because it would be material achievements we are unable to take beyond our grave. What is more crucial is what we leave behind for the future generation. Is each step advancing, or degrading the human civilisation as a whole?
In my attempt to evaluate my life whilst I do the big move, I am now confounded with the thoughts of what would life be if took step A instead of B or both. I realised that my life is a sum of it’s parts put together by my past experiences and I wouldn’t be here today wasn’t for those who touched and inspired my life to achieve beyond the ordinary. I am committed to living an extraordinary life. I used to spend most of my time idolising, fantasising and daydreaming of these imaginary things. What if I met the love of my life on the dance floor? What if I started a business that allowed me to travel without limits?
Reality starts to form the moment we create our thoughts and verbalise them into words. Humans created the concept of god, but who came first – god or humans? True power lies in the ability to recognise that we are creators of the universe that we reside in.
I had restructured my time to focus on mediums that could impact the millions instead of one at a time. As such, I will be drastically reducing my time spent on email communication. I will spend more time writing my novels and filming videos, to create in mediums with the least of my personal time spent but with a lasting value of 5 years +. I will be extremely direct in my intentions. Now that I had passed the million views milestone, I will aim for a billion views next. For my novels to cross the ten thousand downloads mark, to hundred thousand, to the millions. By increasing the scale exponentially I am redirecting my intention into increasing my income using the multiplier effect.
I will cut down my administrative time by ordering groceries/items online with preset shopping cart lists to reorder similar household items. Unsubscribe to all newsletters I do not wish to receive. Redirect and outsource administrative functions. Make to do lists. Focus on the 20% to generate 80% returns using the 20/80 rule.
Yup, this means the Scarlet Queen channel will still be releasing weekly episodes after I am done with my mid year restructuring life review in two weeks time.
This weekend, we had a traditional lunch consisting of Cantonese cuisine in Chinatown with my grand father and grand uncle. They are both actively involved in the clan association in their retirement. During the gathering, I learnt more about my family history. On the maternal side of the family, we have written records of our ancestors migration during the Song Dynasty (960- 1279) from the north side of China (Beijing Area) to the south of current day Guangzhou to escape from internal stifle. I am born in the 28th generation in accordance to our ancestry book.
Prior to my great grandfather’s departure from China, he copied the ancestry book in a rush and took the copied version with him on the junk boat headed to Nangyang. Ten years later, he returned to China to marry a bride and brought five of his nieces and nephews on the voyage back to Nangyang. He had found work in a bank in Nangyang as he was literate, which was rare in the early 19th century. He continued to aid others in the clan association to resettle in the new land by helping others to find employment and homes to return the favour of their initial aid towards his resettlement.
My grandfather and granduncle are continued my great grandfather’s work to volunteer at the clan association, it has lost it’s original function of integrating new immigrants. Now, the clan association is for socializing and documentation of history. They organise trips back to China to trace ancestral roots for others and themselves. My grand uncle took on the task of learning ancient chinese calligraphy in an attempt to continue writing the names of the descendants after the 26th generation on the book, but did not do so. He hopes that we continue to document the family tree. We agreed we should, as it meant my mum’s generation and my generation is not recorded in the book. Which is a pity. Our family has branched out from my great grandparents to over fifty descendants worldwide now.
Once in a while I would be struck with this state, which I term the meaningless state. It is the state of feeling everything is meaningless, and it’s a state of procrastination intermixed with despondence and a fear to move forward. It is a comfortable state, which is probably the state most people are in most of the time till a risky action is taken.
In this meaningless state, I re-evaluate what I have been doing, and re-correct my actions for the next move. Maybe a more accurate term for this state would be called reflection, but I think it is not about reflection, but starting from a blank clearing.
Of course, my toughest battle is my desire to write more words but it seems the obstacle I am facing is myself, that I am not writing fast enough. There is a story waiting to unfold from within me, but I am not letting it go. In this state, I feel that it is meaningless to go on, and the question is back to – why am I doing so much?
I am looking at dropping some commitments as I think I am over committed at the moment.
I expect to move to our new place in May. I am excited at the possibility of living in a brand new locale that I had hardly ever been in. It is surrounded by forested areas and cycling tracks that lead to a water front promenade. It is far out and inaccessible, and even a trip downtown is going to be a hassle. This may be the solution to me writing more books as it is hard to get to the city!
I had reached out to the local library to volunteer to read books for children. I miss tutoring children and teenagers, which I formerly used to do so when I was supporting my living expenses while in college. It is no doubt that I taught English, elementary maths and science. I cycled to my student’s homes and lived a fairly simple existence of attending classes, tutoring in late evenings and cycling back to do my assignments and work on my online business till 5am in the morning. I finally hit the market at age 20 and became a full time entrepreneur. I graduated at 21 years old with a fully functional business and a business degree. Amazing twist of events.
During these tutoring sessions I would dream of what life would be like if I could have an online business and travel around the world and eventually meet my Prince. All these became a reality and now, my dream home is almost completed.
Back to the basics. Now, I miss teaching and hanging out with children and I wish to volunteer my time to inspire the next generation of creators of worlds, stories and new realities they can unfold using their imagination with no limits.
I believe that I may have broke the mold of what an asian woman could be by my YouTube channel in my creation of an alternate world of minions, knights, queens and dungeons. In my fully expressed state, I used dance, theater and story lines to enchant my viewers into viewership submission.
My acting coach said that it is extremely difficult to create an outstanding character on set, and if I had managed to do it with Risque, it’s something most actors never got to do in their entire lifetimes. I believe that I had redefined what is possible with my existence and I will continue to do so by educating the next generation to reach their fully actualized potential.
I attended the Landmark Advanced Course over this weekend and I must say, it has exceeded all the expectations I had written down before my enrollment. I wanted the ability to influence the people around me. For the longest period of time, I did not know how. I watched people suffer, I watched my friends cry, I watched my family needing help and I did not know what to say, and when I wanted to say something, I hold back and run away and hide in a little corner to read books or surf Facebook.
I let the world go by without knowing what I can do. I blamed it on my age, that I was too young, I can’t tell older people what to do, they won’t listen to me. I blamed it on my circumstances, that I am female, asian and expected to do all these traditional chinese roles of what a daughter is expected and respect the elders. I blamed it on many things, on my country, my school, my who and who and who. But I didn’t realised, it wasn’t about blaming. It was about taking responsibility for what I want to be. Full 100% responsibility for what I want to see in this world.
When I start to tell others what to do so they would finally stop suffering, they would tell me I don’t know any better. That they are in dire circumstances. My friend is in debt for failure of his business. Some of my family members don’t talk to one another because of something that happened. Some of my friends are expecting harsh breakups, or just simply not doing well at work. I felt helpless to do anything but watch. Like a television show, I watched the world go by around me without the ability to be part of it. I ignored the problems and just focused on working, and writing my books, hoping by writing out my pain, the suffering will stop for myself and others.
This was the me before I did the Landmark Forum Advanced Course.
What is real only occurs in language. The power of language is that we have the ability to distinguish what happened, our stories and the meaning we attached to it. We have the power to reinvent the possibility of creating an entire new reality. It all starts with the words we use not only to describe ourselves, but others.
On Monday, I gained access to the power of language by issuing requests to my family and friends to stop suffering and take action. This I know, is unreasonable. I should just watch them suffer like a sadist. But no. Honestly. I am sick of watching people suffer. It makes me sick, it makes me hide and it impacts me negatively so much I don’t even watch the news. I refuse to know what is happening so I don’t have to deal with it. But by doing that, I am making myself smaller and smaller, like a helpless being. Like a slave to the universe. I am no slave. I am a master. A master of reality.
A writer is the master of reality itself.
I started to write my life by changing the language I use on others to redesign my reality.
As of today, four days after the seminar, my results are:
I got my parents to explore the possibility of an extraordinary relationship for their retirement years
I reestablished my friendship with my worst enemy and best friend after 1 1/2 years of fighting, through a ten minute conversation
I got my friend who is experiencing a break up to tear his name card so I can give him a hug, and he can reach out to others
I got another friend to pour all his thoughts into a glass and pour it all out into the abyss, so he can finally be freed from his suffering. He messaged me and told me he passed his driving test after failing seven times.
I got half the group in the seminar of 83 people to stand up to commit to creating change and possibilities for others in their lives to end suffering
I empowered my group to do the same of what I am doing, in their lives by directly being accountable for my words with full integrity
I rediscovered my assistant in a totally new way that I admire and respect her greatly as a person of high integrity
I started to issue requests without attaching the meaning to failure, and let go of the fear of failure itself. Rejection means nothing to me now
I gained a new access to the power of language. New realities are invented as I speak.
There are so much undiscovered possibilities that my actions make in the sea of possibilities, I can be free of any attachment or disappointment as long I keep doing what I want to do and see for this world, which is to end suffering.
and much more undiscovered possibilities now present to me.
The Landmark Forum is truly profound. I had signed up for the Leadership Course and committed another six months to mastering my identity, language and reality.
Do not believe anything written about the Landmark Forum, including what I just wrote. This is my journey and each person journey is unique. You have to experience this for yourself.
This course exceeds the experience of Space Travel.
I would put the Advanced Course as the number one adventure I had experienced in my lifetime (ahead of my backpacking trip in Greece).
My possibilities are your possibilities, enroll yourself in the Landmark Forum and go past the next frontier of performance for yourself and others.
You may be the next cause of change in this world.
I am excited and afraid, and going a little overboard with price comparison shopping. I had spent a few weekends shopping non stop for ten hours a day, through warehouses, ikea, catalogues, online and offline and four hours online at night. The verdict is that home & decor items ordered online is more affordable in value. With the exception of Ikea and Daiso. Just that, the furniture shipment has to come exactly in time with the moving date. This time, everything will be brand new except my beloved red sofa which is the only piece of furniture that I currently own.
The furniture that I had ordered online are white victorian made from oakwood. They come without assembly, direct from supplier in China. Strangely, very strangely, everything is made in China, including high end European furniture. I was very surprised at the photos and finishing. I will only know if the photos meet the quality I expect once the shipment arrives. It was a great bargain, but translating each piece of furniture to mandarin and having to communicate with the representatives proved to be a rather difficult chore, but we did it successfully and they are now on the way.
I made a resolution to make the best bed in the world in my home. After having slept on the bed of the Grand Hotel Melbourne with my mum when she flew over to attend my graduation ceremony, we both have a similar mission to recreate the same grand bed. It is so famous that the hotel has an order form for the grand bed. But I will attempt to recreate the bed at the fraction of the cost.
To make the best bed in the world, it requires a few items:
1000+ thread count sheets
Australian made quilts and mattress topper
Comfortable pillows, I prefer down feather and memory foam posture pillows, so I got both
A great mattress!
I believe a great bed is the ultimate luxury in life as we spend 1/3 of our life sleeping. A great rest = a great day. Too little effort has been placed to this important facet in our homes, except hotels try to research and create that by offering guests options for hard and soft pillows, and as far as to offer bamboo fiber non allergy pillows. Well, I could slowly discover what bed I like over time in my home 😀
I am excited that the new place I am moving to has gym facilities. I am looking forward to holding BBQ parties by the lawn, and being Australian. Yup. I miss whipping up a storm like masterchef. I felt very happy in Melbourne as I could get my friends over and cook, and house parties/bbq/visiting was a regular social activity. At my new place, I am going to do that and cook most of my meals, yup. I have been eating out too much and it isn’t a good thing. I am going to get a blender and make blended veggie soups that I miss so dearly.
I am looking forward to the move so much that I have admittedly been distracted from my writing, which I am trying to get back to but I am stuck at the pivotal point. I had lost weight from shopping ten hours a day over the weekend. My dream victorian home is coming true.
I never believed anyone when they said, “fairytales/dreams don’t exist.” They do exist and it is up to us to create it into our realities and live the fairytale we want it to be.
