A noticeable result since starting on the introduction leaders program to landmark forum in June is that I no longer experience mood swings or stress. I gained clarity over my life and am able to presence myself into the present. My productivity has increased tremendously, I am writing a lot more. My self mastery is beginning to take form. It is by far the most powerful program I had undertaken to date.
When I consume media such as Beautiful Now, Cloud Atlas, movies, or books, I gain much more insights than I used to. I had delved deep into the nature of relationships around my community and gained an access to speaking to people in a way that inspires them to take action. I overcame my fear of abandonment and focused on what I have instead of what I don’t have.
I began to understand even sharing my results is futile, what is important is for others to discover themselves by their own initiative. Be it reading books, attending talks or meeting friends, there are many paths to the journey and having a combination of pathways is neither right or wrong, it is what it is. It is a choice.
“The future now occurs in language.” Landmark Insights
I have created a clearing for the trip of my lifetime to get an agent for my book. It had ran/avoided this purpose due to an incident that was stopping me from crossing this threshold point. Now, I had been freed of this limitation.
In the future now, I am inventing the possibility of becoming a world renowned author. This is my invention since I had started on the Leadership Program. I will continue to get coaching for my lifetime. Learning is a never ending journey.
I have created a space during the past few weeks by delivering undelivered correspondence. This clearing has freed me up to a new realm of being authentic. The conversations amongst my family and friends has deepened in a profound way.
On a daily basis, I am moved to tears, or moved into action. I am living each day like my last, and in the process of which I am speeding up in my tasks and execution speed. More is done in a less period of time. My calendar is full. My daily life is well spent. Not a minute is lost or gained. It’s only the future now that exists and this is all it matters.
From my conversations with people, I can now identify what they are “avoiding”. In this sense, I am able to find the root of their suffering and ease them into releasing the pain. Sometimes all it takes to save a life is a phone call, or a message, “Hi, how are you?”. It could mean the difference between life and death.
Sometimes we are unaware of the power of language we have over others in their decisions in their lives. I am, myself responsible for the damages I had done on others in the past due to my inability to control my language by hurling hurtful words in the heat of anger. Now, I have more control to repair and mend those broken relationships by reconciling that it was unintentional and I still love them.
Last week, I mended a relationship with my girlfriend after we had an argument. For one year, we did not talk. I terribly missed her. I called to say, “I am sorry.” Our friendship is now back in existence. What is the price of that? It’s priceless to have a friend.
The access and tools we have to life is the generative power of language, in this sense, Landmark enables us to get to the root of the language and recreate the future now.
I had been using a series of concepts in my daily life to attain breakthroughs my performance, in fact this is the topic I heavily research about because I believe it isn’t about putting more hours in one task but reinventing a new way of doing the same thing at the fraction of the time spent. Also, to cut the chase and get down to the bottom line so that things get done in the way that I would like the outcome to be.
Misinterpretations and miscommunications are the breakdowns that happen on route to authenticity and integrity. I believe by communicating our messages in a clearer way it enables us to achieve a breakthrough result itself. I have been working on this aspect in my daily life but my mood swings get in the way of being 100% effective. I believe top performers in any field have this ability not to be affected by their moods or “what happens” in relation to their work. They could go to the hospital to visit a sick relative and go back to work in an hour and still perform at their peak.
For myself I still get a little affected by the previous event (getting moody) in relation to the next event and it affects my performance. To get full performance in my work I have to be fully concentrated and not be disturbed by external events or stimuli. But the question now is that we can’t control external events, so how do I internalize my thoughts in a way I can keep my game intact?
The power of the mind over matter is what keeps me up thinking how can I challenge myself to the next frontier to achieve that breakthrough of being present to the task at hand. This is still a limitation but it’s rather crucial I have to get over this if I ever want to finish my novel series.
This is the task I have set up for myself in the next few months in Landmark Leadership Program. I will record my observations and results on this blog as I go along.
Since letting go of attachment to results, I had been freed into another realm of possibility. Rejection means nothing to me now, there is no anger. There is no rage. There is nothingness. The internal dialogue has ceased to control my actions. Now, my vision is crystal clear. I was watching a documentary yesterday about who we are more likely to help – a successful young woman or a middle age biker. I felt more drawn to the biker although majority of people would choose the former. It seems that all these statistical tests and “norm” behaviour does not apply to me now. The power of the Landmark Advanced Course is finally sinking down after a few weeks.
It is insane how much we are conditioned and controlled by our contexts. Breaking out is the key to true freedom and power. I have always wanted to break out and reach my fullest potential as a human being to be fully expressive and excel in all that I do. Now, tasks are completed at the fraction of the time, my energy level is doubled and all tasks now have equal importance and my results are as such – increase in 55% of sales. My relationships have hit a new frontier after being present for people and listening to what they truly need. Now, I reject what I do not want. I choose my seats in the restaurant instead of someone else choosing it for me. Once I issue a request, the universe replies me with what I need. I have finally understood what it meant by “when one finger moves, the universe bends to it’s will.”
Watching the latest X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) was a brand new occurrence to me. I found myself in Jean Grey’s shoes. It is the best movie I had watched in many years after X-Men: The Last Stand (2006). Wow, it has been almost a decade since I had been mind blown and forced to re-evaluate my life after watching a movie. I believe that the human potential is largely untapped and with the right guidance, we can finally unleash the hidden powers within us. Usually in the moments of crisis, mutants mutate and discover the extent of their powers. Under normal circumstances, we will continue to live ordinary lives with no impact to the world till we discover the answer within us.
Humans do have the ability to mutate under certain conditions. I believe that mutation is part of evolution for the survival of a species. In biological terms, if the mutation is advantageous to the species (such as fishes developing a certain colour that predators are unable to detect), the mutation will eventually take over the entire colony and the species will evolve to be in that undetectable colour.
I believe the next evolution of humans is the function of tapping into untapped potential of the mind. In the book The Effective Executive by Peter F. Drucker, he predicts that eventually manual jobs would be automated by the functions of an executive. In theory, one executive could perform the jobs of 200 men through the usage of technology. The battlefield of the corporate world will no longer lie with whose company is bigger or have more financial or government backing. Eventually, the function of small lean start ups will take over big dinosaurs and evolve at at faster speed. We are already witnessing this by the rise of Facebook, Twitter, Tesla. Whatsapp was a two man operation till they sold at the billions.
Power lies fundamentally within each one of us to create the next evolution, to change the world to end suffering. Impact starts with the movement of one finger, to one small action, to ripple effect throughout society. I will never stop writing, for this is my power. The power of language is the most powerful tool in the world. We invent the world we live in by the language we use. I am now committed to mastering my identity, reality and language to move to the next frontier. Bring it on!
The extent of Jean Grey’s Powers in X Men – The Last Stand
Ten emails later, I finally got a reply on where I could volunteer to read books to children. I hope to develop my story telling skills and aid them in cultivating a love of the English language. I realised that time is short in supply, out of all things in the world. Time keeps moving, it does not stop for anyone.
According to Landmark Insights, “It’s language—what we say (with and about others, ourselves, and the world at large) that constitutes who we are.”
If I could inspire others to master language, they would eventually gain mastery over their lives and identity. I believe the key to change in this world starts with the usage of language. When we remove the word “suffering” out of our vocabulary, suffering will no longer exist for anyone.
Attending Lee Child’s lecture at ITW Online Thriller School gave me a revelation into the art of storytelling. The act of writing is actually speaking. We are speaking as we write, and we write as we speak. The most natural, human way of listening to a story is auditory. Anyone who can speak, can write. The change starts with the usage of language, the rewriting of policies, the recreation of society by each small action we take.
My small action now starts with reading stories to children to inspire them to become the next generation of storytellers to “remove” suffering in this world.
I attended the Landmark Advanced Course over this weekend and I must say, it has exceeded all the expectations I had written down before my enrollment. I wanted the ability to influence the people around me. For the longest period of time, I did not know how. I watched people suffer, I watched my friends cry, I watched my family needing help and I did not know what to say, and when I wanted to say something, I hold back and run away and hide in a little corner to read books or surf Facebook.
I let the world go by without knowing what I can do. I blamed it on my age, that I was too young, I can’t tell older people what to do, they won’t listen to me. I blamed it on my circumstances, that I am female, asian and expected to do all these traditional chinese roles of what a daughter is expected and respect the elders. I blamed it on many things, on my country, my school, my who and who and who. But I didn’t realised, it wasn’t about blaming. It was about taking responsibility for what I want to be. Full 100% responsibility for what I want to see in this world.
When I start to tell others what to do so they would finally stop suffering, they would tell me I don’t know any better. That they are in dire circumstances. My friend is in debt for failure of his business. Some of my family members don’t talk to one another because of something that happened. Some of my friends are expecting harsh breakups, or just simply not doing well at work. I felt helpless to do anything but watch. Like a television show, I watched the world go by around me without the ability to be part of it. I ignored the problems and just focused on working, and writing my books, hoping by writing out my pain, the suffering will stop for myself and others.
This was the me before I did the Landmark Forum Advanced Course.
What is real only occurs in language. The power of language is that we have the ability to distinguish what happened, our stories and the meaning we attached to it. We have the power to reinvent the possibility of creating an entire new reality. It all starts with the words we use not only to describe ourselves, but others.
On Monday, I gained access to the power of language by issuing requests to my family and friends to stop suffering and take action. This I know, is unreasonable. I should just watch them suffer like a sadist. But no. Honestly. I am sick of watching people suffer. It makes me sick, it makes me hide and it impacts me negatively so much I don’t even watch the news. I refuse to know what is happening so I don’t have to deal with it. But by doing that, I am making myself smaller and smaller, like a helpless being. Like a slave to the universe. I am no slave. I am a master. A master of reality.
A writer is the master of reality itself.
I started to write my life by changing the language I use on others to redesign my reality.
As of today, four days after the seminar, my results are:
I got my parents to explore the possibility of an extraordinary relationship for their retirement years
I reestablished my friendship with my worst enemy and best friend after 1 1/2 years of fighting, through a ten minute conversation
I got my friend who is experiencing a break up to tear his name card so I can give him a hug, and he can reach out to others
I got another friend to pour all his thoughts into a glass and pour it all out into the abyss, so he can finally be freed from his suffering. He messaged me and told me he passed his driving test after failing seven times.
I got half the group in the seminar of 83 people to stand up to commit to creating change and possibilities for others in their lives to end suffering
I empowered my group to do the same of what I am doing, in their lives by directly being accountable for my words with full integrity
I rediscovered my assistant in a totally new way that I admire and respect her greatly as a person of high integrity
I started to issue requests without attaching the meaning to failure, and let go of the fear of failure itself. Rejection means nothing to me now
I gained a new access to the power of language. New realities are invented as I speak.
There are so much undiscovered possibilities that my actions make in the sea of possibilities, I can be free of any attachment or disappointment as long I keep doing what I want to do and see for this world, which is to end suffering.
and much more undiscovered possibilities now present to me.
The Landmark Forum is truly profound. I had signed up for the Leadership Course and committed another six months to mastering my identity, language and reality.
Do not believe anything written about the Landmark Forum, including what I just wrote. This is my journey and each person journey is unique. You have to experience this for yourself.
This course exceeds the experience of Space Travel.
I would put the Advanced Course as the number one adventure I had experienced in my lifetime (ahead of my backpacking trip in Greece).
My possibilities are your possibilities, enroll yourself in the Landmark Forum and go past the next frontier of performance for yourself and others.
You may be the next cause of change in this world.
I am progressing well these few weeks on writing the sequel that it is consuming most of my mental energy. I hardly could do anything else except focus, watch videos and do research. I am almost like a scientist holed up in a cubicle at this point, except that my specimens are humans.
When I was a child I used to think that one day I would grow up to be a writer of fiction as I loved reading and spent most of my childhood reading in the library and bookstores. It’s great that I am pursuing this full time at the moment as it was once a far away dream, and now I am actually an author!
I am averaging about 700 – 1300 words a day on average, and I spend about four hours a day writing, and the remaining time reading and doing research. I still have my dance itch and I had been going to the gym regularly as a way to detox from the mental process. After a few months of cross fit training, I think I am rather fit right now with defined lines appearing on skin. Not a bad thing for an author to have the body a dancer.
The problem with writing a novel is that everything else “worldly” seems trivia. It’s like everything I am doing right now is meaningless in the bigger scale of things, putting into perspective that the earth is billions of years old and we humans live only for about 80 years in the grand scale of the universe. It seems that even writing a book, out of hundreds of thousands of books being published each year, is just a book among millions of books.
I think it requires us to go beyond ourselves and start thinking about the wider implications and community than our individualistic needs to see the big picture of what is really happening and how it affects us daily. When I use this perspective of looking at the bigger picture and transforming it to something better instead of focusing on instant gratification (fame, money etc), I feel quite powerful. With this new perspective, I think I had regained clarity on what is really happening vs what I think is happening.
Back to writing… here is my video list research for the novel consisting on a very interesting video I found about elite female bodyguards.
When I was 19 years old, I took a three day company sponsored seminar and wrote down three goals: 1) Publish a book 2) Generate Passive Income 3) Visit New York. I had to write down my fear as well, which was Age. Then, we had to do a karate chop on a wooden board and “banish” our fears and achieve our goals. Well, all three goals did come true. What was next? On my friend’s recommendation I signed up for the Landmark Forum to find out “what is next”.
When I signed up, I was expecting another Toastmasters or personal development course. What really came out of it was actually, totally different from anything else I had ever experienced in my life. It’s powerful and life changing, and I believe the power of it’s roots is traced to Ancient Greece.
When I visited Greece last year, I was lots of ancient ruins and “forum” like amphitheaters. In primary school, my principal insisted that our school needed to build a 100 seater “forum” that was dug into the ground and we would practice choir or watch musical performances. The key here is “forum”.
The “forum” was the cradle of philosophical discussions in Ancient Greece that was then, used by the Roman Empire to create a civilization. In these forums, philosophers, artists, politicians would gather and discuss about intellectual ideas on how to build a civilization, how to create a democracy, and how to advance their empire. It was through the sharing and improving of ideas that the world we live in now has progressed to what it is.
On hindsight, ancient China did not have forums. Neither they had universities nor libraries like Rome. Because the Chinese culture was traditionally a “closed” culture, they could only advance their knowledge by passing it on to the next generation through apprenticeship. A master can only take a few disciples. Hence over the centuries, much knowledge is lost due to burning of written records and when masters “disappear”.
For this reason, things remain unchanged in China for hundreds of years as they held on to conservative traditions and a rejection to change. Till today, China does not have much technological innovation. They have to borrow of western ideas due to this lack of sharing and open collaboration. The lack of originality and creativity is due to sticking with proven formulas to generate results. However, in this cyber changing world, formulas that worked yesterday, will not work tomorrow.
The Landmark Forum opens up possibilities of change by intellectualising the process of thought and creating topics for open discussion with complete strangers. A moderator would lead the forum and bring up a new conversation topic. Then, participants are to pair up to take turns to talk about the topic.
When I read reviews on the Landmark Forum online, I am completely flabbergasted that people would think the Landmark is a cult. If Landmark is a cult, is Toastmasters a cult too? I believe that a course that promotes self actualisation and personal empowerment would open up our mind and create new ways of thinking and creation to find out what was not possible before.
After the three days of Landmark, I felt totally empowered to make key changes in my life. I felt totally connected to my soul purpose and what I had to do next. What I got out of it was not just what I had to do, but how to do it, and where my blind spots were. The Landmark Forum is in fact, one of the most powerful courses widely available to humankind today.
Here are some quotes from the Landmark Forum:
“The greater the idea, the greater the resistance.”
“Living a reasonable life is the lowest level of living.”
In essence, the Landmark Forum condenses the most powerful concepts written by philosophers that we can apply in our daily lives and interactions with others to gain clarity in our conversations. It creates distinctions by giving us new tools of language that we can use to bring into awareness of what we were not aware of before. Like riding a bicycle, we wouldn’t know how it feels to balance on a bike till we experience the motion of being suspended on two wheels. Be open and coachable and you will discover that a bigger, larger you exist deep within, and that the daily actions you take now as long lasting impact in the world we live in.
My Landmark breakthroughs can be view in this category: AVERRAL Landmark.
Yesterday, I met a friend by the waterway promenade. We walked through the artificially constructed waterway surrounded by apartments on both sides. It was futuristic yet alienating to be part of that newly constructed environment. We talked like we knew each other for years although we barely knew each other for a week. The affinity we had was even closer to friends I had for more then ten years.
In our one week of online correspondence, I applied all the concepts at the landmark I am actively enacting on my daily life while communicating with him. First, I was very honest and upfront about my life, dreams and my work. That opened up a deeper level of communication that I did not experience with others before. We had similar interests and we had heart to heart conversations about our past, present and future. Then, I realised that this level of affinity I feel when communicating with others is when they know that I am openly kinky.
I wonder if suppressing my kinky nature in the past had lead to me feeling inauthentic as I conformed to being vanilla in the society, and lead to a distance I feel towards others and myself. I had a feeling I was “different” and I have to admit I was socially awkward in most social situations by acting like a goth chick till I effectively covered it up by putting on a friendly deposition.
We parted ways wishing the best for each other. That clearing opened up the possibility that I can learn how to be more authentic in my communication by not suppressing my kinky nature in front of my vanilla friends to deepen my relationship with them.
I used to subconsciously give off kinky advice in my teenage years like, “oh, you should spank him!” “Put a collar on him and make him crawl.” They took it rather humourously and thought I was just a goth chick with japanese fetishes with a twist on how to date and get a boyfriend. I have to admit that I would be approached on the street with strangers asking for my phone number every weekend. In the arcades, they would hit on me as well. I was probably much more free and authentic as a teenager who was trying to find her identity.
That abruptly stopped when I stopped displaying my kinky sides openly as I put on a cold persona that distanced herself from all other beings. Now, I had resumed being quite honest and openly kinky and I find that more old friends from my past teenage years are chatting up with me again. I can’t believe I lost myself for so long to fit into vanilla society.
I wonder how many others out there who feels the same way and are still suppressed. I wonder.
I used to be rather elitist when I was younger. This is something I dislike to admit, but I have to admit it so. I would attribute a huge part of this flaw to being in a school that promotes that line of thought. That being part of an elite school is somewhat of a genetic entitlement and all other schools are “below” us. When I went to a non elite high school, I carried that thought with me that I was born superior to others.
What evidenced this further was that in the non elite school, their command of the English language was far below my proficiency. I would correct people’s factual information mid way when they are talking. I would correct their sentence structure. I would do all sorts of elitist things like competing and being top in games. I would exert authority based on this false sense of self entitlement.
Being in a society that promotes this elitism and social class divisions based on what car or house one stays in further corroded my mindset. Although meritocratic in structure, the society I live in is ruled similarly to Sparta. There were policies that are geared to graduates marrying each other to pass their genetics to the next generation. It is as warped as a utopia ruled like a Disneyland with divisions on which areas could be accessed based on what affiliations or memberships one held. The enclosed culture soon self destructed inwards as globalisation occurred at a speed faster than any authoritative body could predict.
I am glad to say now, the island I live in is no longer as elitist and enclosed as it used to be in the past. My educational years in Australia showed me that class divisions are a societal construct and it did not exist. No one is born superior or better than others. We are all humans, and all humans deserve a basic right to freedom. The construct of elitism is meant to control the population to keep them in a state of helplessness that they are not “entitled” to a voice.
As I broke out of this elitist thoughts, I lost my first love. He firmly believed that the Chinese race was genetically superior to all other races, and males are superior to females. When I lost him, I lost that part of me that used to be part of the construct. I let go of all attachments to whom I believed myself to be, based on what everyone else told me who I was.
I removed the layers of conditioning that wrapped me in a state of self handicap. In this unbinding process, I let go of several key things:
1. The need to look good.
I no longer wear make up, or my high heels or branded goods unless there is a formal occasion. But this doesn’t mean I don’t have to keep fit, I still go to the gym for health reasons.
2. I let go of the need to blend in.
I removed the chatter and gossip of friends who continuously compared who has what and who knows who. Who gives a dam if he owns a big house or big car!? That doesn’t make him a better or worse person. I would rather talk about what we can do about our life work today, that will aid the future generations towards a better tomorrow.
3. I let go of expectations
I no longer expect anything. If it happens it happens. I had reached a transient, zen state relationship to the world around me. I learnt to be patient, kind and understanding. I used to determine and control the outcome of everything by my own efforts in my egomania of relishing in control over everything. Now, I try to let it be. Although that darker side of my competitive streak comes out, I let it be and I don’t suffocate and kill off my opponents like I used to. I would overwhelm them and let them live instead, so we can fight another day.
4. I accepted my duality
I accept my duality as one complete me. My light and dark natures allow me to function at a high speed and level that even surprises myself. This internal self mastery is a relatively new revelation to myself, as I let these two states control my life as I watched like an observer. Actually, I was afraid that I was both of them.
5. I let go of self loathing
I used to be quite disgusted at myself for having such a flawless score. Why can’t anyone be better? As a child, I would put in one coin in the arcade game machine and I could play for half an hour to an hour before I would finally lose. Especially Puzzle Bobble. Everyone else have to wait for me to fail the game for their turn. But I would play on forever, even with just one coin. Even if they challenged me, they would lose, even if they used more then ten coins. You could imagine what a terror I was in front of boys. They would run away from me and refuse to play with me after having been defeated so many times by a “girl”.
When I played against others in my neighbourhood on games like Pokemon and Digimon, I formulated my strategies in an unconventional way. (who would train a Clefairy!? What element is that creature!?) I would beat the system of most games I played. I competed Pokemon Silver within three days although I could not read Japanese.
I would sign off my name as AVER on every arcade game machine at the end of the day, so everyone knew who I was. How disillusioned I was. In reality I was seeking for validation, for someone to come up to me and tell me, “you are great.” That never happened, so I spiraled in a loop of self loathing of trying to be better and better and never being enough. Instead of waiting for that external self validation, I let go of the need to prove myself.
…
As the construct fell in my unbinding process, I realised that true freedom lies on the other side. I have nothing to prove, for I am nothing. The only area in life that needs to be addressed is happiness. I will talk about this in another post.
