by | | Her, World
“To be, or not to be– that is the question.” Shakespeare
The world we exist in relies heavily on relationships to make us who we are. Hence the identity of “who I am” is the sum of the characters of our life. Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players.”
A misunderstanding starts when a brand new concept of being is introduced into someone’s world. Suddenly, they are challenged to become a new being to fit into a new status quo of what is “acceptable”. Some people embrace change, others, resist change.
My uncle resisted me studying overseas when he said, “don’t bring back your western ideas.” He has good intentions, but he believes that I should be a housewife as a full time career option. Although I had highlighted to him that it is not possible for modern day women to pursue that, he still firmly believes a woman’s place of happiness is at home and men should be providers.
I do look up to him as a Big Uncle and over the years, over many insistence to him that the lifestyle of staying at home to look after the family and not have a job for my generation of women due to the way society is structured is not an option. After much insistence on my part, he finally agreed that women can do both – work in a career and have a family life.
Hence by overcoming that conversation with my uncle over a period of a few years and few encounters, he now accepts that I am a business woman who also is able to have a family life. This has fundamentally shifted his way of looking at modern day women as probably, his previous conversations with my cousins and aunts had not worked either as he had aspired for us to be happy housewives with a great (interior) family life but all of us ended up working and having ambitious (exterior) goals in life. Now that I had shifted that we can do both (interior) family goals and (exterior) work goals, he now accepts that women do both.
Sometimes all it takes is a continuous stand before the relationship shifts from “unaccepted” to becoming “accepted”. An introduction of a new idea or concept causes an evolution of the mind itself to re-define and re-accept the new state of the way things are. The shift is not about “changing” but it is about “evolving”. Hence resistance sets in when there is an evolution happening.
Consider that your immediate relationships is the key to causing your own evolution and the moment that one stops to listen to other characters on stage, the play stops. There is no ACT 2. Life stops at ACT 1 and stagnates slowly till we die. The moment we start listening to others, life moves on to ACT 2, and it becomes a new state of who we are. Now, my uncle is proud of my business achievements and family achievements and shares with other members of the family they should aspire to have both. He has moved to ACT 2 of life and is now is receptive to my “western” ideas as well and that maybe me going overseas to study has allowed me to converse well with him in a way that he has reconciled that old and new world.
My uncle is indeed a Big Uncle.
by | | World
An email to my editor who asked about the differences between Chinese and Japanese culture that I thought I should share here as it is quite an interesting breakdown on the cultural differences.
Hi Tara,
I had been thinking for some time since you asked me what is the difference between these two cultures and if the Japanese took the original Chinese ideas and called it their own.
Yes and no. Here is a breakdown on what I think.
The Japanese based most of their ideas of their current contemporary society by visits by the Japanese ambassadors to the imperial court of China during the Tang Dynasty. The Tang Dynasty was one of the Golden Ages of China’s history. Architecturally, the Tang Dynasty was zen-like with black minimalist finishing as Taoism was very dominant during this era. It influenced writers to pursue a minimalist living and path during this era of Chinese History. The Tang Dynasty was under the Han Chinese, as compared to other historical periods of China which sometimes was ruled by minorities (such as the Manchus and Mongolians).
China usually prospered if the Hans (ethnic Chinese) were ruling the country. After the Tang Dynasty, the country fell into disarray. China is like Europe in the sense there are many different dialect groups and there is inner conflict and struggle for these minorities to take control of the government. Predating Julius Ceaser, China had an Emperor (Qin Shihuang) that unified the whole of China at the expense of millions of lives. Since then, the Dragon Throne has always been hotly contested for as they believed that ancient China was the center of the world (hence the country is called “Central Kingdom” in direct English translation).
What the Japanese learnt from China during the Tang Dynasty is still prevalent in Japanese society today. Shintoism is a modification of Taoism. Chinese Poetry in the Tang Dynasty era is renamed as Haiku. The clothes: kimono and yukata were probably worn during the Tang Dynasty as well. But China fell into control to different rulers over the centuries, and social and fashionable attitudes changed depending on what the Emperor preferred. The contemporary cheongsum is influenced by the Han Chinese women rebelling against the Manchu government.
There is also a distinct difference between the way the Japanese and Chinese approached their foreign policies towards the 1800s. China had a closed door policy, as the Emperor believed that China was self sufficient (they were in the center of the world) and does not need to trade. Japan, on the other hand, was an island, and did not have raw materials to modernise their industry.
The Japanese Emperor issued a verdict to open their doors to trade to modernise their country (army and economy) during the Meiji Era. As a result of opening up trade, Japanese prints influenced western painters like Van Gogh. The Japanese culture captured the imagination of the French and contemporary western culture as they were the first to open their doors to trade and cultural exchanges.
However, China during this period of history had a Confucius philosophy to their actions. In Confucius philosophy, one has to be in harmony with their family, followed by their friends, then country, in order to achieve unity (hence circular dining tables and round objects are auspicious, take note that being “central” and “round” “self contained” are key fundamentals to Chinese thinking in this era).
As China was still facing internal problems during this era (under the minority Manchu government), the Han Chinese were very unhappy and wanted to overthrow the government, let alone trade with the world. Although the Chinese invented gunpowder, they never used it to colonise or conquer other countries. The Emperor simply believed he wanted to unite all Han Chinese under one country, and that’s it.
It is quite hilarious till today that USA thinks China wants to go to war, but historically, China has never attacked another country unless they want to “unite the Han”. The only instances that China sent voyage expeditions to conquer Japan was under the Mongolian government. But both times, the tsunami ate up the war fleet and the mission failed. The current communist government of China consist of majority Han Chinese, so they have no interest to go to war due to the deeply ingrained Confucius teachings in the culture.
If I have to draw a parallel between China and Japan, it would look like something like Quebec Canada and France. Quebec was occupied by the French during the 1600s, as today, they still use the old french (Quebec French) as the evolution of the French language did not reach it’s shores after the French lost control of Quebec to the British. Hence, although Quebec is French, their attitudes, culture and language is more ancient than contemporary France.
After opening up their doors, the Japanese embraced western culture and integrated it with their own culture. Japanese words have a mixture of ancient chinese words (the word knife is the same mandarin character) mixed with modern English words (computer is pronounced as “kom put er” in Japanese).
The Chinese culture on the other hand, is a very proud and self contained culture. When new English words appear, they simply used old Chinese words to join them together to form a new word. The word computer in Chinese is “electric brain”. They still “reject” western influences, and reinforce their own Chinese cultural identity in their contemporary media.
You could see the difference in these two MTV videos by Ayumi Hamasaki (Japanese Superstar) and Jolin Tsai (Taiwanese Superstar).
Ayumi uses western influences and makes it look hip and fashionable.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsyBwgPv51U&index=7&list=PL-xGweAfz4WeByr8zgbHMfsUZP18bIcEt
Jolin uses traditional chinese influences and makes it contemporary and even more seductive in it’s exotic appeal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7wRb9adQUc&list=PL-xGweAfz4WeByr8zgbHMfsUZP18bIcEt&index=2…
Hope this finally answers your question (that I had been thinking throughout my London trip).
by | | Editorial, World
A social-cultural in-depth comparison of Singapore and Penang, two former British ports that were governed differently, one governed for prosperity, and the other, governed for simplicity.
In a traditional shophouse in Penang, a middle age man in a singlet is preparing food at the counter, customers walked in to inspect the hanging chickens, pointing to the parts they wanted. The middle age man’s wife recorded the orders on a flimsy paper. The customers sat down, their sons delivered the hot and piping dishes – fresh chicken, fragrant rice and boiled soup. An elderly man was seated at the corner of a shop on a small desk, fanning himself with a straw fan.
Traditional Shop houses in Penang
This is a common sight in Penang, businesses are handed from one generation to the next within the family, a trend that has not changed despite the effects of globalisation. In Singapore, high rents and the social pressure to succeed has lead to the next generation in resenting in taking over their family’s traditional business, opting to work in an air-conditioned MNC with opportunities to advance their career in a nice white collared shirt.
Steven, a Singaporean, shared that his uncle, who operates a successful oyster omelette store, with the original recipe handed down from his grandfather, will be closing down his business this year. His uncle’s only daughter, who is afraid of cooking oil splattering onto her complexion, does not wish to continue the family business, which has been operational for over 80 years.
High cost of living had lead to lower birth rates in Singapore, with fewer people tying the knot, as women in Singapore have almost equal opportunities to men in when it comes to education, health, economic participation.
Singapore – Marina Bay Sands Casino
At the expense of economic advancement in Singapore, couples are delaying marriages, having to work for a longer period of time to put down a deposit and take out a thirty year loan, and staying with their parents after marriage to save cost, and only moving to their own homes after their 30s. The average age of women in Singapore having their first child is at age
29. and, usually they only have one child, with an average fertility rate at
1.25.
In contrast, the lower cost of living in Penang makes it easily for someone to own their home before the age of 30. Most women have two kids (based on
Malaysia fertility rate at 2.1).
93% of Malaysians own a car. The lower cost pressures had made it easier for people to live in a more relaxed pace of life – with home, car ownership before age 30, with two kids in the mix.
The cost of modernisation in Singapore is at the expense of livelihoods, resulting in the next generation in delaying home ownership and marriage. Singaporeans had traded their lives, for progress. But in the progress of what? What more is there to be proud of when the basics of the traditional social structures are breaking down in the name of progression?
Singapore can learn a lesson from Penang. To stop, sit back, prioritise, fan oneself with a straw paper fan, and continue the legacy.
by | | World
In the new world, approaching Web 3.0, I predict the convergence of technology, and accessibility and distribution of information to be widely available at speeds unforeseeable in human history, partially thanks to the big giants – Apple, Google and YouTube for the ability of reaching out globally from their independent platforms to create and disperse information and knowledge.
The convergence of technology and knowledge, will allow humanity to unite and create art forms that are merge the futuristic and advance at levels, never faster before. Our ability to learn multiple languages, dance, and mediums, with globalisation, internet, and social media, has created a new wave of mutual unity and understanding of the human race. The world is turning mobile, and the borders, are melting into borderlessness, with the union of the European Union, we are now living in a new world, that one day, we will become citizens of the world, our cultures and identity unifying as one, that’s when, we as the human race are one and the same… that’s when… wars will end.
The world is converging as I speak, and the playing field is evened out between the strong and weak, in this new world, knowledge and dexterity are the keys to survival. The traditional forms of connections, ties, and inherited titles will disappear as social mobility will depend on meritocracy and ingenuity to survive in the world of change. The world has never changed this fast, as compared to before the invention of the internet, its like everything has speeded up, communications, news, information, the speed of flow has allowed us to connect across borders without being in the same country, to trade and move goods and services smoothly through airplanes and ships. The information age of today, is probably the golden era of human civilisation. Interestingly, the people who will be left behind are those without the knowledge of the internet or computers. More funding is needed to support every child in third world countries with a laptop, so they can be part of this global economy.
by | | Her, World
Why try, when all evidence leads to hopelessness?
The
Existential
question, why even try, with the knowledge of trying no matter what
it all points back at nothingness?
Increasingly in my journey and quest for perfection, I am meeting the road block, also known as existential crisis. It is a point where one realizes there is no point in doing whatever we are doing, because at the end of the day we are all going to die and our artwork or message might never be understood or conveyed. Watching Cloud Atlas (2012) made me realize this situation in another level, as compared to what I thought previously, which was to try and try using the sheer will power of my mind.
At this stage, I realize that the act of trying when everyone is failing, is indeed fighting against a hopeless cause, like trying to move a stone with a raindrop. To move boulders we need strong tides and waves, even a tsunami! One single rain drop, or rain can’t do shit, it just erodes the rock over time but does not move it, maybe it will disintegrate into sand over the course of millions of years but it does not solve the fundamental problem – which is to freaking move the dam rock.
As my comprehension of the situation of the world we live in grows in strength each day, the more I feel that others around me do not see what I see, thus increasing my isolation and the tendency to be misunderstood. The more I feel the suffering of others, the more I feel that there is a lack of empathy in our human race, for the drive to be competitive outweighs the basic integrity and ethnics on what it is to be a human with a heart. In this sense, my current life philosophy is leaning towards Taoism, or also known as The Way. It is the action of doing nothing, to achieve everything. Sounds pretty deep and complex, but it utilizes the way of the natural order to move objects naturally, instead of “forcing” things to happen. That is a mental form I am trying to cultivate.
As the waves of globalization take control of our basic resources and monetary system, the divide becomes more apparent. The skilled and unskilled, the rich and poor, the inequality and income gaps. Thomas Friedman was right, the world is flat. I am glad I am an outlier in the equation (being a writer with the ability to detach and see what is happening objectively). If I am in the rat race itself, it would not seem so clear to me – this madness we are living in, chasing dreams we cannot attain, collecting mountains of mortgage debt that cannot be repaid. I am glad I understand the way the system works (with a combination of my business degree background and understanding of human nature), but in the process, I see the obvious so easily, the obvious mistakes people are making, that is worrying.
Which brings me back to the point of the existential crisis – why even try? Even my very own friends can’t be bothered to try, why the hell should I try to be different. I guess, instead of living life like a goldfish, we humans have a choice to take control and choose the life we want to lead. In the process of which, I guess it is worth trying although it all points at hopelessness.
At this point of my journey, I am a hopeless convert towards realism after worshiping Robert Greene, and that itself brings me back to the realization of meaningless of existence, that would be the new direction of where my works will take me – the seeking for and forging of an identity in a chaotic world that makes no sense.
by | | Editorial, World
Modern psychological classifications (depression, ocd etc) are a way to limit higher potential and intelligence. It is a billion dollar industry in attempt to kill off the outliers (highly intelligent people). Our fears and anxieties are borne out of instincts, that society tries to curb. When channeled correctly, these “mad” people are the ones who create and design the future. There is no mental disease, there is only societal disease. The next time someone calls you crazy, say thank you, because it is a gift to be labelled as crazy. You are just ahead of the curve, like the Joker in Batman.
Anti Fragile (2012) had taught me that the more we expose ourselves to fears, and if we are able to overcome it (repeat trauma, repeat danger) the more resilient our mind adapts to the fears. As a result of which, our threshold for fear/pain goes up, in line with our capacity to handle our emotional control. As long we don’t die in the process of repeated exposure, our minds become more resilient. It is nature intended responses. This is evolution. This is human ingenuity. The moment one decides to take chemicals and pills, is the effect of numbing the system to adapt and respond to external stimuli. The next time you want to take a pill, try talking to a friend or counsellor, try revisiting the events and places that caused the fear. Use all the pain/suffering into channeling it into something great, like further studies, career etc… sometimes the intensity of our deepest fears is the key to the foundation of our happiness.
Our minds work by conditioning, and experience. Our primal responses is to fight or run from danger. In the modern world, there is no such threats. Your computer is not going to eat you up. There is no need to run away from cats. As a result of which, we have this excessive energy in our biological system
When you run away from whatever the apparent danger is, the Amygdala stands down and goes back to quietly watching. If you ran away from a mugger, that’s a good thing. But if you ran away from a grocery store, or a dog on a leash, that’s a bad thing. Now your Amygdala will be conditioned to see the grocery store or the dog as dangerous, and will make you afraid next time you see one
http://www.anxietycoach.com/exposuretherapy.html
In our modern day world, where threats are not present, our flight/fight response is detrimental to our everyday lives. What is there to run from when we already have conquered the animal kingdom and destroyed nature to fit into our human need for conquest and ego? We have dug deep into the earth for minerals and oil, conquered the heavens with planes and satellites. There is no limit to human greed.
At this stage of evolution, we have to learn contentment and relaxation. How to live in peace. How to enjoy the little things in life, and stop trying to conquer. Stop trying to achieve perfection. We are already at the peak. At no other point of human history, we are so interconnected. Just a flight to the end of the world, internet to connect us across borders. No need for letters or ships. The world is flat, and the limit of the curve has been achieved. Any more progress from this point is just going to kill us. Unless, we help the bottom of the curve, then the curve can progress to the next level. There is no point going higher, when the bottom is just so miserable.
In every major city I had visited (considering I have visited Shanghai – Taipei – Toronto – Bangkok – Kuala Lumpur – Los Angeles – Las Vegas – Melbourne and Singapore) in the course of two years, I noticed a similarity throughout cultures and people – the soullessness. The deadness. The capitalism. The hunger, the feeling of being eaten alive by the economy. The fear of being left behind in this global economy. The luxuries, the poor. The strong, and the weak. These are at extreme ends of each other.
The emotional numbness. The currency for exchange (security for sex), the eyes of lost souls trying to reason, what is this change about? Why had technology made us so disconnected. Although connected with the world, we are disconnecting with the people immediate to us. This pheonomeon is what I had noticed over the past five years, since Google and Facebook came about. Everything is easily available on the internet, information flow is widespread. The truth is slowly being revealed on wikileaks, all the lies we had been fed from state controlled media. As we are fed more of the truth, we only discover more lies. That is when, we don’t know what to believe in anymore. After all these while, all that we had been taught to believe in schools and society, we are starting to realize that we all have been deceived by capitalism.
Since the truth is no longer, the truth we believe it to be. One of the ways to make sense of reality is to live in it according to our own moral code. The Victorians probably got it right, on how a gentleman and lady should behave. The ancient Chinese probably got it right, on dividing social classes based on imperial examinations and educating scholars on the four legs of art along with Confucianism. However, the world is converging. All these ideas are starting to link together. Like what Steve Jobs said, “put the dots together.” Whatever we preexisting know of the world – through history and media – is converging into a singularity. There is no difference actually, its one and the same. We just “think” there is a difference, when in actual fact, a rainbow gives the illusion of seven colors because it filters into our eyes as such, however, there is only one color – white. In this world of different perceptions, it is hard to see what you see, and hard for me to communicate in my writings what I see as well. Your interpretation might not be what I had intended for this article to be.
The limit of the curve, has only started.
by | | World
The strongest are those who are stripped of everything, thrown naked into the deep end of the pool and survived. For the best fishes are in uncharted waters. Those who are raised in a greenhouse, and never stepped out of their comfort zone, will never know their own personal limits. The only way to find out is to take risks.
In a world of cowardice and superficiality I am disappointed at the state of humanity and I will not let myself be affected by those who are weak. I seen through the lies and deception. The only real thing is those who speak and act with convictions. The rest, is an illusion.
by | | World
I am a vegabond wanderlust.
A bloodlust traveller seeking for answers.
What the hell are we living for? I sometimes wonder why.
I found my answer one fine day in midst the corruption and pain.
———–
“There is still hope left.”
by | | New Age, World
I am feeling very sad, not at myself, but at others.
It saddens me to know that there are people out there who don’t really care about others.
In my life, I do care about the people around me. I take actions to benefit the greater community, especially when I see that something can be so easily avoided but nothing is done.
It saddens me to see the poor struggling to meet ends meet when the rich are splurging endlessly on luxury goods.
It saddens me to hear the stories of rape, abuse, and neglect. Every human being deserves to be loved.
It saddens me to hear the cries of an abandoned child, born out of the wedlock or abortion. They had a chance to come to this earth to experience its beauty, but to be thrown away before they were given the opportunity.
It saddens me to meet people who are not true to themselves, they have developed a false good personality to conceal their evil one. All they do is to conceal their acts of evil in acts of kindness.
It saddens me to know that people are exploiting Earth for her resources, by drilling into her body. Mother earth is suffering, do you hear her cries? I do, it burns a hole in my heart.
It saddens me to see how people try to fill their emptiness with materialism and superficiality. At the end of the day, they are still empty inside no matter how much they have on the outside.
One day, mother earth tears will wash across the earth in waves, cleansing and purifying everything that is in it. Many of us will be washed by the waves, back into the soil, to be reborn into the new earth. Till then, I will do the best of my ability to protect her.
I love you, everyone of you souls out there.
You are loved.
by | | World
Anxiety is what every person faces. It can come unexpectedly when we feel vunerable, frightened or afraid. It can also become a problem for those of us who have past unsolved issues. It comes in the form of memories, nightmares or even jerking unexpectedly.
It is real and it often comes with depression. They usually come hand in hand together, you suddenly feel like doing nothing, just staring into space, doing redundant things, or just escaping from the world. I do know a couple of friends who are experiencing this but they do not want to admit it so as they feel that they do not have a problem, but to a observer’s eye – they do have an issue.
I am not depressed in any way but i do have to admit i feel anxiety because of my hyper sensitivity, which can be a good or bad thing. I can feel a person walking behind me a mile away, so i am very careful when I go back home at night. What I would advise girls to do is to form an imaginary shield, a white bubble covering your body and use it for protection – when I am afraid I conquer up the shield and I will feel safe almost instantly. It works in a metaphysical matter, you might think it is rubbish but that is how prayer works – on a level that we cannot see physically.
Another thing I would advise people who are in a position of anxiety (like being in an unfamiliar environment, work stress etc) is to take a few deep breaths and relax your body. When you are anxious, your body reaction is to become tense. Notice your hands the next time you are anxious, you will realise they are very stiff. You have to let go and relax, you will feel much better after that. By doing so, you will aid your blood flow from your heart to the cells in your body. The reason why people suffer from high blood pressure is because they do not know how to relax when needed. By being extremely tensed and stressed all the time, it restricts blood flow to other parts of the body, which might be detrimental over time.
In the modern context of today, we live in a very high paced society. Everything is happening so fast that even the way we walk is faster! Notice the people rushing to get abroad trains and to their destinations. Sometimes you have to spend a bit of time in a cafe and watch these people rushing aimlessly. You will start to realise alot of things about life – and see yourself in their shoes. Learn to slow down and take things at a time. There is no point rushing, there is always time. Even if you do not complete it in this time, there will always be a future (if you believe in recarnation).
Enjoy what you have now and be grateful for it.
