Faced with an almost completed manuscript that knocks me in and out like a racket ball, it hurls in another direction.
When I resist it,
it haunts my thoughts.
When I attempt it,
it takes my soul.
When I relish in it,
It gives me my existence.
I had been on a nine months writing marathon and the fire is burning out. I will finish the race by end of this month. Thank you for reading this and sharing my diabolical journey and life that made my novel sequel, Blue Orca possible.
A writer’s job in editing is finding about inauthenticities in the writing. For every work, there is continuous revisions to update the work itself. As it goes with relationships, it is a daily commitment to make relationships work. It is not a given that we are born to a family that we know our family members well either. It is a daily re-commitment to talk to them and get to know them better.
Finding inauthenticities frees us up to being authentic with who we are. Who we are is the sum of the people in our lives. To be truly free, is to be truly authentic about our inauthentic selves. When a person of high integrity talks, the words cut through. The impact shakes the universe. I had that experience in front of Heather Graham. Her words impacted me in a way that left me moved to believe that it was possible to be a world renowned author.
Heather Graham’s husband was in the audience during her panel at the Thrillerfest. When asked which actress she would choose to portray a character in her book, she said, “I will choose my own daughter, who is an aspiring actress.” What makes Heather Graham great is not the 150 novels she had written, but her ability to inspire others around her. Similarly, what makes C. J. Box a best selling author was his reply to the question of who the beta readers of his books are is, “his wife and three children.”
The great authors are at their truly authentic selves as their family is involved in every process in the way of them being able to shake the world and sell millions of books with lasting impact. Authors who are overnight success on the other hand, do not have the lasting impact of success due to the inauthenticities that creep in once they had made it.
Added footnote:
After visiting New York and meeting world reowned authors in the Thrillerfest, I realised that working on inauthenticities is crucial to making authenticity work. The big names we see who impact the world are life figures of those who had overcame their own inauthenticities to make a difference in this world. The people who are limited in their fixed way of being are subconsciously limiting those around them. By being open to feedback, a person rises from mediocrity to greatness.
Sex was the most talked about topic in the writer’s convention. To me, sex is sex. It doesn’t conjure anything up for me. To me, it is a flat three letter word that says S E X. The society however, made this word warped and confusing for most modern women. The very sound of the word sends some people spinning.
I do write about sex. Sex is like eating. To me, eating and sex are fundamentally human needs. Animals are biologically engineered to seek for these two things as well. I use the analogy of food to cover the undertone of sex heavily in my writings. Some authors can write about sex, some authors just can’t. It is a personal choice.
From my reading list, Asian authors do write about sex in more graphic details. Reading and writing novels is one of the liberties of our culture that no one would bat an eye lid on. My favourite author, Natsuo Kirino writes about murder and sex in almost every page. She is a celebrated horror writer in Japan. Anne Rice is another author who writes heavily on the undertone of sex. Her sleeping beauty series is a classic example of modern erotica.
Being a modern day celebrity is the equivalent of being a modern day sex symbol. The deprivation, the misunderstanding, the misguiding of sexuality in this century has lead to our modern day sexual dysfunction. In Japan, statistics show that half of the people do not have sex. The heavy reliance on videos, manga and other sorts of entertainment has created a false world there people would divert their attention to instead of building relationships.
As a creator, my hope is people would use my content to explore their the possibility of their lives and not grow dependent on it.
“To do well in life and business, take care of your elders.” My grandmother said. “Cultivation is the key to success. Life is an unpredictable candle flame. Once the life force disappears, it disappears forever. Before that happens, ensure you had communicated to all your loved ones.” My grandfather walked out of the room. My grandmother lowered her voice. “Don’t let your ego get in the way. Don’t let looking good get in the way either. In the end, it will hurt you more to pretend you are okay.” My grandfather walked back into the room and watched television. We talked about how she has difficulties typing a message on a smart phone. I thanked her for the hospitality as I showed her how to book a uber car. “Come back and visit us soon.” she said in all smiles.
Everyday, I ask myself this question, “Is each step I am undertaking advancing humanity as a whole?”
I had made arrangements to get my relationships settled, reporting in to every inquiry, following up to a whole and complete state where nothing is left unsettled.
Still, the insignificance of how insignificant we are in this grand scale of the universe makes me think my actionable actions is very small.
Indeed, I try to make my small impact on the world.
Still, looking at life in billions of years in this universe, I realise that I am nothing.
Nothing.
Just a figment of imagination run wild.
The source of which, makes me think, actually, there is nothing in the way of doing what I really want to do in this world because we are all going to die anyway.
A conversation with a friend who majored in philosophy had sparked an intense debate within me – how can I possibly do more than what I am doing today?
From the state of nothingness, only creation can begin.
The key to incomes that passively generate is through actions taken to lay the foundation of a structure that creates that flow. It starts with relationships with others. Financial yields are generated by the flow of human connections. The more we invest into establishing relationships, the more flow it generates. Relationships is not limited by geographical location. Intercontinental relationships multiplies generation not only in income streams but in relationship streams. In essence, to be wealthy in life is to be wealthy in relationships.
How do differences start? It starts with us filtering the world through our eyes. There is a spectrum of colours, and on these range of colours, we experience different emotions. Underlying this active act of filtering others through our eyes on a daily basis, differences are made based on distinguishing who is right or wrong, who is this and that. The moment we start to categorize the way things are, the deception starts.
“I have you and I don’t need anyone else.” My friend said to me.
To this line I say, “What if I am not here tomorrow? There have to be others you are depending upon for support. Dependence is not a weakness, gathering support enables you to empower yourself. I know you can do this alone, you are strong to undertake this hardship. But don’t ride on this journey alone. We are all here for you. Share yourself with us.
No man is an island, we are co-dependent on each other in a loop of giving and receiving. If you keep giving, and giving, it’s great, but allow yourself to receive as well. Once you are able to receive, you can give more and contribute to others.”
To this he nodded.
An interesting discussion at the thriller fest came up was that, “writers are perceived as experts in a field.” It hit me then that since publication of my first book I am now perceived as an authority figure. It dawned on me this shift of perception has an effect on how others related to me.
Now, I seem to be the go to person for answers ranging from any topic about the meaning of life although I write in the thriller genre with women serial killers. Initially I wasn’t able to comprehend this shift of how others related to me but now I embrace it. I am now actively listening for what someone has to say about their point of view. I am now interested in people’s lives. Maybe that’s why writers are the to go to person as we are actively seeking for answers to life as much as everyone else.
It seemed that my being has magnified tremendously since I published a book. There is now another layer of me existing outside me. There is the power of language that penetrates into the subconscious of those who encounter my words. I realize that my gift is a blessing and curse, and I have to undo the damage of my past by revisiting them and re-creating what is in the present for those around me to advance them in their own pursuits as well.
I embrace my being as a writer and now, it’s my time to contribute my knowledge to humanity.
