Fantasy is a projection of the reality we want vs the reality we currently have. To have our fantasy realised all we have to do is start to have conversations with like-minded people to discover “what ifs?” But most of the time, before the fantasy can be materialised either one person runs away from who they really are, to go on this long search of avoiding the reconciliation of who they are vs who they are pretending to be.
I have to declare that all my relationships that occurs online before meeting in real life have failed. There is a drift between what is projected and what is real. The relationships that work, is amongst people whom I met in real life as they know the real me.
In the artistic pursuit of my identity, numerous projections have been placed on me. But they are just fantasies. It is nothing real. They are stories that exists in consciousness. To transcend them to real life, it requires real life conversations. Introductions. Really getting to know someone.
Escaping and running from who we are only brings us back to square one – to finding out who we are.
“The future now occurs in language.” Landmark Insights
I have created a clearing for the trip of my lifetime to get an agent for my book. It had ran/avoided this purpose due to an incident that was stopping me from crossing this threshold point. Now, I had been freed of this limitation.
In the future now, I am inventing the possibility of becoming a world renowned author. This is my invention since I had started on the Leadership Program. I will continue to get coaching for my lifetime. Learning is a never ending journey.
I have created a space during the past few weeks by delivering undelivered correspondence. This clearing has freed me up to a new realm of being authentic. The conversations amongst my family and friends has deepened in a profound way.
On a daily basis, I am moved to tears, or moved into action. I am living each day like my last, and in the process of which I am speeding up in my tasks and execution speed. More is done in a less period of time. My calendar is full. My daily life is well spent. Not a minute is lost or gained. It’s only the future now that exists and this is all it matters.
From my conversations with people, I can now identify what they are “avoiding”. In this sense, I am able to find the root of their suffering and ease them into releasing the pain. Sometimes all it takes to save a life is a phone call, or a message, “Hi, how are you?”. It could mean the difference between life and death.
Sometimes we are unaware of the power of language we have over others in their decisions in their lives. I am, myself responsible for the damages I had done on others in the past due to my inability to control my language by hurling hurtful words in the heat of anger. Now, I have more control to repair and mend those broken relationships by reconciling that it was unintentional and I still love them.
Last week, I mended a relationship with my girlfriend after we had an argument. For one year, we did not talk. I terribly missed her. I called to say, “I am sorry.” Our friendship is now back in existence. What is the price of that? It’s priceless to have a friend.
The access and tools we have to life is the generative power of language, in this sense, Landmark enables us to get to the root of the language and recreate the future now.
I had been using a series of concepts in my daily life to attain breakthroughs my performance, in fact this is the topic I heavily research about because I believe it isn’t about putting more hours in one task but reinventing a new way of doing the same thing at the fraction of the time spent. Also, to cut the chase and get down to the bottom line so that things get done in the way that I would like the outcome to be.
Misinterpretations and miscommunications are the breakdowns that happen on route to authenticity and integrity. I believe by communicating our messages in a clearer way it enables us to achieve a breakthrough result itself. I have been working on this aspect in my daily life but my mood swings get in the way of being 100% effective. I believe top performers in any field have this ability not to be affected by their moods or “what happens” in relation to their work. They could go to the hospital to visit a sick relative and go back to work in an hour and still perform at their peak.
For myself I still get a little affected by the previous event (getting moody) in relation to the next event and it affects my performance. To get full performance in my work I have to be fully concentrated and not be disturbed by external events or stimuli. But the question now is that we can’t control external events, so how do I internalize my thoughts in a way I can keep my game intact?
The power of the mind over matter is what keeps me up thinking how can I challenge myself to the next frontier to achieve that breakthrough of being present to the task at hand. This is still a limitation but it’s rather crucial I have to get over this if I ever want to finish my novel series.
This is the task I have set up for myself in the next few months in Landmark Leadership Program. I will record my observations and results on this blog as I go along.
Since letting go of attachment to results, I had been freed into another realm of possibility. Rejection means nothing to me now, there is no anger. There is no rage. There is nothingness. The internal dialogue has ceased to control my actions. Now, my vision is crystal clear. I was watching a documentary yesterday about who we are more likely to help – a successful young woman or a middle age biker. I felt more drawn to the biker although majority of people would choose the former. It seems that all these statistical tests and “norm” behaviour does not apply to me now. The power of the Landmark Advanced Course is finally sinking down after a few weeks.
It is insane how much we are conditioned and controlled by our contexts. Breaking out is the key to true freedom and power. I have always wanted to break out and reach my fullest potential as a human being to be fully expressive and excel in all that I do. Now, tasks are completed at the fraction of the time, my energy level is doubled and all tasks now have equal importance and my results are as such – increase in 55% of sales. My relationships have hit a new frontier after being present for people and listening to what they truly need. Now, I reject what I do not want. I choose my seats in the restaurant instead of someone else choosing it for me. Once I issue a request, the universe replies me with what I need. I have finally understood what it meant by “when one finger moves, the universe bends to it’s will.”
Watching the latest X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) was a brand new occurrence to me. I found myself in Jean Grey’s shoes. It is the best movie I had watched in many years after X-Men: The Last Stand (2006). Wow, it has been almost a decade since I had been mind blown and forced to re-evaluate my life after watching a movie. I believe that the human potential is largely untapped and with the right guidance, we can finally unleash the hidden powers within us. Usually in the moments of crisis, mutants mutate and discover the extent of their powers. Under normal circumstances, we will continue to live ordinary lives with no impact to the world till we discover the answer within us.
Humans do have the ability to mutate under certain conditions. I believe that mutation is part of evolution for the survival of a species. In biological terms, if the mutation is advantageous to the species (such as fishes developing a certain colour that predators are unable to detect), the mutation will eventually take over the entire colony and the species will evolve to be in that undetectable colour.
I believe the next evolution of humans is the function of tapping into untapped potential of the mind. In the book The Effective Executive by Peter F. Drucker, he predicts that eventually manual jobs would be automated by the functions of an executive. In theory, one executive could perform the jobs of 200 men through the usage of technology. The battlefield of the corporate world will no longer lie with whose company is bigger or have more financial or government backing. Eventually, the function of small lean start ups will take over big dinosaurs and evolve at at faster speed. We are already witnessing this by the rise of Facebook, Twitter, Tesla. Whatsapp was a two man operation till they sold at the billions.
Power lies fundamentally within each one of us to create the next evolution, to change the world to end suffering. Impact starts with the movement of one finger, to one small action, to ripple effect throughout society. I will never stop writing, for this is my power. The power of language is the most powerful tool in the world. We invent the world we live in by the language we use. I am now committed to mastering my identity, reality and language to move to the next frontier. Bring it on!
The extent of Jean Grey’s Powers in X Men – The Last Stand
The memory of the chase of the wind is fresh
The events that unfolded has come to an endIt was a disillusionment on my part
I have accepted reality for what it is
My muse is Gackt Camui and a dose of classical music. It sends my imagination spiraling down a rabbit hole of time and space that once upon a time, I was in another realm of fantasy with my beloved. The modern society is filled with soul destroying statistical numerical digits to be placed on our identity cards and stamped as a grade. Ratings, reviews, appraisal. The need to look good and be accepted. To win awards and gain fame. These are pointless needs at the end of the day, because it would be material achievements we are unable to take beyond our grave. What is more crucial is what we leave behind for the future generation. Is each step advancing, or degrading the human civilisation as a whole?
In my attempt to evaluate my life whilst I do the big move, I am now confounded with the thoughts of what would life be if took step A instead of B or both. I realised that my life is a sum of it’s parts put together by my past experiences and I wouldn’t be here today wasn’t for those who touched and inspired my life to achieve beyond the ordinary. I am committed to living an extraordinary life. I used to spend most of my time idolising, fantasising and daydreaming of these imaginary things. What if I met the love of my life on the dance floor? What if I started a business that allowed me to travel without limits?
Reality starts to form the moment we create our thoughts and verbalise them into words. Humans created the concept of god, but who came first – god or humans? True power lies in the ability to recognise that we are creators of the universe that we reside in.
I had restructured my time to focus on mediums that could impact the millions instead of one at a time. As such, I will be drastically reducing my time spent on email communication. I will spend more time writing my novels and filming videos, to create in mediums with the least of my personal time spent but with a lasting value of 5 years +. I will be extremely direct in my intentions. Now that I had passed the million views milestone, I will aim for a billion views next. For my novels to cross the ten thousand downloads mark, to hundred thousand, to the millions. By increasing the scale exponentially I am redirecting my intention into increasing my income using the multiplier effect.
I will cut down my administrative time by ordering groceries/items online with preset shopping cart lists to reorder similar household items. Unsubscribe to all newsletters I do not wish to receive. Redirect and outsource administrative functions. Make to do lists. Focus on the 20% to generate 80% returns using the 20/80 rule.
Yup, this means the Scarlet Queen channel will still be releasing weekly episodes after I am done with my mid year restructuring life review in two weeks time.
Over the years I had materialized concepts that I imagined and applied like building fresh Lego pieces into a grand castle design to conquer reality into what I had envisioned it to be. The scale of which started from a small action, such as writing on a blog, to big scale implementation such as writing a marathon novel. It’s part of my personal development journey that I had attempted to document on this blog to share my observations with the world, whoever may be the thousands of viewers who stumble on this blog monthly.
I believe humans are underutilizing their abilities due to social constructs that limits their advancement. The very organisations we design are not catered to humans who are biologically designed to have multiple talents. In fact I believe that working in a singular fixed job without external interests of hobbies leads to the degradation of the mind in the long term.
The general discontentment and low life satisfaction rate of people in developed countries is the reflection of how modern society attempts to class and divide people into streams and labels in organisational hierarchies. It starts with school, we are given a grade and the final score of university entry exams determines the outcome of an adoscelent adulthood and lifestyle.
That predetermination of streaming at a premature age limits and hinders personal growth that could otherwise be materialized to fruitation into a multi potiential human being with the ability to redesign and recreate reality of his own.
It kills off entrepreneurs who otherwise may have learnt the tools in business school wasn’t for their low scores in maths or science or languages. The inaccuracy of grading ones ability using written assessments is a detriment to the otherwise unfounded development of a person who could have blossomed into a world leader.
I dropped out of two schools in my lifetime because I felt it wasn’t aligned to my interests and outcome. The best opportunity given to me in my life was the years I spent in Melbourne where I discovered and formulated my identity and broke out of my constrains of what was expected of a typical conservative Asian girl. By 21, I had a business degree in my belt and was highly graded on my business presentations. There wasn’t a question my lecturers posed that I couldn’t answer on the spot. What runs me is that I have to get it right. Do it right, do it right. It is screaming at the back of my mind.
Maybe having an almost perfect memory for written text and the ability to condense and link large amounts of factual data is a blessing in disguise. I knew the answers before they were told. Sometimes I wonder if I could read people minds.
The Landmark Forum Advanced course was a breakthrough in my understanding of the pieces I had been trying to solve for some time. How does one change the world? I finally got my answer – it starts with writing the future now.
I redesigned my life to be a work of art. I don’t want to live a blind slavish life to pursuing materialistic short term gratification. However I feel that my works are being abused instead of appreciated as I am on the wrong medium.
I am seriously reconsidering my artistic direction on my YouTube channel to take it to a new unthreaded frontier. This may mean I will change my content to make it only accessible to paid subscribers to achieve the next milestone. There will be no more free content to be released to the public. Changing my medium of communication will enable me to focus on quality and depth.
My despodence grows from knowing that my journey is solitary and my messages may never be comprehended. But it’s okay, as long I am here I will keep trying to communicate my definition of beauty to alleviate human suffering.
Writing the future now has never been so empowering. The mastery of self lies in the mastery of language. I am glad to have taken the path of being a writer. Language is the access to recreating the reality we live in for the advancement of mankind.
The reality we live in only exists in the future now that we create. The possibility starts with daily consistent actions. I am awake and not asleep no more.
Doing up my new apartment and speaking to contractors gave me insights into the effort and love put into constructing homes. When I see a home now, I see a summary of effort by a group of people who put thought and consideration into each facet (lighting, switches, design of blocks etc), and each invention that made our modern lives more convenient (fridge, television, water filter).
I imagined that in the past, there wasn’t air conditioning or any electronics, and how people lived in low density buildings. The advancement of technology has enabled us to build higher buildings with designer amenities. It’s a crazy jump from how our grand parents lived in the past (villages with wooden houses and townships with two storey buildings), to the modern high rise apartments we have now with nearby air conditioned shopping malls.
What a jump of technological advancement in a short span of 50 years! I wonder what would be the type of buildings and communities we will live in 50 years from now. If given an option to shape the future, I would like to see the advancement of drones shipping our parcels and groceries directly to our living rooms. I would like two seater drone vehicle that I could fly out from my balcony to another building balcony so there is no traffic congestion in the skies. I would also like to see more people working from home, with SOHO home offices as the norm to cut down carbon emissions, and a reduction in car ownership and increase in share ride services such as UBER and flexi express bus systems.
Most jobs would be automated by artificial intelligence by then and most people would be working in jobs that automate processes. Robots would do our house work (such as robot vacuum cleaners now, and in future, personal cleaner robots that do laundry and cooking).
I am at planner. I mean it, I plan so much that I had bought all the items needed before moving in to a new home. Piles of boxes are stacked on top of one another in a maze and they have been sealed and wrapped way before I got the moving date. I am a die hard planner anxious person.
I want to move in without anything missing from the new home. I had even resorted to creating an online grocery list of dry goods to order once the apartment is ready, I could just ship it in directly and unpack my kitchen utensils and start cooking on day one.
Yea I am crazy. Pretty much. This is now I had structured my life and my novels to the tiny details. I bought exactly three soap holders and one double soap holder as I had ordered 30 bars olive soaps online which I had predicted would be a year supply. I am getting rid of hand soap and relying on bar soap, and eventually replacing my bath shower gel with natural bar soap to conserve wastage of the earths resources and go green.
I had sourced packets of spices to be dumped into tiny ikea bottles, bought a range of Method products for house cleaning purposes and even arranged for a cleaner to come in weekly even before the house is ready.
I never developed such extreme planning habits till I enrolled in a masters degree program in Melbourne. On top of going to lectures, writing essays and running an online business, I had to restock on groceries and cook three meals a day. I had never pushed myself so hard in my life till that point and I crashed by quitting graduate school. Best decision ever.
Still have not used my degree to apply for jobs till today. What more would I need an extra graduate degree for?
I regret slightly on not completing my certification but it was quickly made up by my other extreme travel pursuits such as driving long distances in foreign places.
I drove the great ocean road over five days. It was the most amazing trip ever on a ford falcon. The breeze in my hair, down winding roads to the middle of no where. That sparked my inspiration on Mary’s scene on riding a bike in the countryside with Max.
Then I went to Las Vegas, rented a car and drove to Los Angeles. The journey took six hours through the dessert and I felt my eyes were gonna pop out as my hands went numb towards the dead of the night. Fortunately I found the motel with the help of a gps and it was all good.
I love random travel andrealine like that. The next was climbing up a fortress in Corfu. That was unforgettable. Watching a different theatre show every night in London for seven days. Visiting 10 independent book stores. Those are the crazy insane side trips I do while on vacation.
Now, my extreme persuit is to get my house ready and complete this milestone before my next adventure.
This weekend, we had a traditional lunch consisting of Cantonese cuisine in Chinatown with my grand father and grand uncle. They are both actively involved in the clan association in their retirement. During the gathering, I learnt more about my family history. On the maternal side of the family, we have written records of our ancestors migration during the Song Dynasty (960- 1279) from the north side of China (Beijing Area) to the south of current day Guangzhou to escape from internal stifle. I am born in the 28th generation in accordance to our ancestry book.
Prior to my great grandfather’s departure from China, he copied the ancestry book in a rush and took the copied version with him on the junk boat headed to Nangyang. Ten years later, he returned to China to marry a bride and brought five of his nieces and nephews on the voyage back to Nangyang. He had found work in a bank in Nangyang as he was literate, which was rare in the early 19th century. He continued to aid others in the clan association to resettle in the new land by helping others to find employment and homes to return the favour of their initial aid towards his resettlement.
My grandfather and granduncle are continued my great grandfather’s work to volunteer at the clan association, it has lost it’s original function of integrating new immigrants. Now, the clan association is for socializing and documentation of history. They organise trips back to China to trace ancestral roots for others and themselves. My grand uncle took on the task of learning ancient chinese calligraphy in an attempt to continue writing the names of the descendants after the 26th generation on the book, but did not do so. He hopes that we continue to document the family tree. We agreed we should, as it meant my mum’s generation and my generation is not recorded in the book. Which is a pity. Our family has branched out from my great grandparents to over fifty descendants worldwide now.
