Rain
I love the rain, it is nature’s music. The smell of rain is a tranquilizer to my pain, the rain drops wash the worries of yesterday, and the hope of tomorrow rises when the rain stops to reveal a beautiful sunset at dusk.
Reveries & Dreams
I have been dreaming of a lake scene in my dreams, floating in the middle, submerged in all sides, drowning into a deep sleep, sinking in deeper, and deeper, not breathing but alive in a sea of lost consciousness.
In this sea of consciousness, I am freed by the constraints of the physical world. My thoughts flow freely like the waves, my movements fluid and graceful. A taste of freedom. Deep in the oceans, I see your image, laughing, twirling, whispering; for me to be with you forever, and not awake from this dream.
When I awake from this beautiful dream of reveries and lost hopes, I am back into an urban jungle manipulated with steel and concrete by mankind. Untamed skies and grey murky water. Infestation and regimentation. Conformity without freedom, a life of slavery to the material debt.
Pain and Freedom
Once, I had a kitten, it had a striped grey and black body with white gloves on its paws. His name was Tiger. One day, Tiger ran out of my home before it turned barely three months old. When I caught it home again, it was a month later.
It was sickly, I suspected that it ate rat poison during its voyeuristic expedition to the outside world. I knew he did not have long to live. A week later, spent its last moments curled up in its basket, and passed away…
I remember its curled up body, resting in the softness of the fabric in the basket… freed from pain at last.
. . . .
Like animals, humans too, have a tendency to curl up when we are in pain.
There is an armchair in my home that I regularly curl up in, since I was a child. When I have a toothache, or tummy ache, I would seek out the comfort of the familiar smell of the armchair, and curl up like a ball, my head popped onto the leather surface like a hospital patient. The leather smell eases my anxiety, and diffuses my pain by absorbing it into the wood structure of the chair, it felt akin to hugging a tree for comfort, the smell of eucalyptus leaves… a respite from the harshness of realities.
“Don’t you ever sell the set of Italian carved leather arm chairs” my dad instructed when I turned 18 years old. “They are part of your inheritance, to be used for many generations.” I nodded, how can I ever give up something so dear to my memories? When I was a playful child, I would put my legs on the arm of the chair itself, and rock it while watching television. “Put your legs down from the chair!” My mother screamed from across the room. “It is so unladylike.” I would stick out my tongue and continued to defy her commands, till she physically moved my two tiny legs down and closed it together, to sit like an obedient child. “Sit like a lady.” My mother says, before I sped away to the next chair and defy her wishes again, and prop my legs up on the arm of the chair like tom boy, or “ah lian” as she calls it.
. . .
When I stayed in the states for a month, there was a similar armchair in the serviced apartment I rented. I would spend hours in the safety of the huge chair, consuming books hungrily from my iPhone. I did not want to leave the armchair; the summer heat was unbearable, people had a hot and fiery temper, and when I tried to do my daily chores; I was harassed sexually by strangers. After all its Las Vegas – an inhospitable place for humans, rather, it is literally a desert that only cactus and scorpions can survive in. The armchair provided the best comfort I could reminiscence about my home, where I can feel safe, where I can read endless of story books… absorbing my mind in the world of fiction, an imaginary world where there is no pain or suffering.
By reading novels and putting myself in the shoes of the character, I am no longer part of the world of pain and suffering, but in a new world of mystery and intrigue. A world that I can imagine and create in my mind, and define the rules and order… I could choose where I want to be; I could be Alice, the White Queen or Red Queen. I can be a vampire slayer or a seductive vampress. In the armchair, I am comforted by my soul, I am in touch with my imagination… I feel no pain no more, a world of no responsibilities… a world of endless freedom, a world where the skies and earth do not meet.
The world that Tiger tried to find, but could not find – till he curled up in the basket and left for the imaginary happy world.
Tango Halloween
Kiss
Kill
Tango and Halloween, tragic love and sentimental killers
The Scorpion Queen reigns in the month of October
Kiss or Kill, when the cords are out, fate decides
Passion Play, Dance of Death, Ropes and Chains
The Red Room of Pain awaits.
Ms Popkins – How to Attract a Boyfriend or Girlfriend
Good afternoon class, my name is Ms Popkins. My ancestors migrated from Britain to Singapore a century ago. I am happily married to a wealthy husband with two daughters, ladies as young as your age. To attract a good girlfriend or boyfriend, you have to behave like a proper lady or a refined gentleman. I was invited personally by the general manager of this prestigious country club to conduct this talk. Today, we will go through the finer details on etiquette and grace on how to attract a suitable partner.
1. Ladies: Wear lingerie and no pajamas at home
Young boys in my class, if you ever call your girlfriend at night, ask her, what is she wearing. If she is wearing pajamas, dump her. She is not going to be able to excite you if you ever do get married to her. If you find one that wears chemise lingerie at home, marry her immediately without hesitation.
For you ladies in my class, NEVER wear baggy t shirts or pajamas at home! That is too low class, you understand? You have to excite your man, in the bedroom, and what better way than to serve him dinner in a corset and lacy g-strings?
2. Ladies and Men: Learn Social Dancing
What is a better way to meet respectable ladies and gentlemen of your caliber, other than social dancing? Learn social dancing only at respected places too, mind you. You can try the university alumni and country clubs. Don’t date someone below your standard, always date someone who is a challenge. For men, always date the best dancer or the most beautiful woman on the dance floor. For ladies, date a man who is able to lead properly and asks you for a dance, ignore the rest. Go for tango, milongas, drink socially, dance merrily, learn waltz, cha cha, and soon, you will meet the man or lady of your life!
3. Ladies: Learn how to apply make up and behave properly
My dear ladies, you remind me very much of my daughters, and one thing I remind my daughters to do is to apply make up before they leave the home. You should always apply make up without fail, never leave your home without make up, you understand? Even a simple lipstick or blusher will do. If you go out pale looking, you will never attract the boy that you want. What if you meet him at the super market? You always have to go out prepared! Rain or shine. Never leave fate to chance!
If a man does not choose you, and yes, the gentlemen in my class will concur with me, it means you are not putting enough effort in your deportment. If you behave like a rough, unruly hooligan, he is never going to like you! You have to spend equal amount of time refining your manners and behavior, along with the time you spend putting make up in front of the mirror. This should take an hour each day without fail. Practice talking to the mirror, notice your hands, they should always be cupped together in front of you! Don’t wave them wildly, unless you want to shoo them away. Be gentle, be kind, be pleasing, never interrupt his speech, always agree with what he has to say. If you have a different opinion, keep it to yourself, till later, once the ring is on your finger. The key is to get him to like you, to be a listening ear for him, and always keep a feminine presence and never undermine his masculinity.
4. Men: Treat your lady, like a lady
To the boys in my class, if you want a lady in your life, you have to start to treat your mother well. Although I do not have sons, I have nephews, which I have taught them from young, on how to treat Aunt Popkins right. They are now, refined men – one of them works as a personal banker, another, works as a general manager. With good manners, they have climbed their way to the top of the social ladder with ease.
To make women comfortable with you, always offer to open the door, move their chair, and please them. If your woman is not happy, it means you are not doing a good job, you should work harder! If she is unhappy, it is because you had made a mistake, and you should aim to rectify it before she disappears! I know its hard for you lads to express your feelings, but you have to learn, how to get in touch with the poetry in your soul. It is a sure winner if you learn how to write poetry for her – if you are ever lost for words on your feelings towards the girl that you like, pen it down in a letter, slip it into her handbag, and magic will happen. Trust me on this, boys.
5. Ladies: Treat your man, like a man
Ladies, I know the feminism movement is gaining popularity, but it is a very dangerous thing. You should never call yourself a feminist, or support feminism, it is outrageously evil. Women should depend on men, we need men for security and support. If he does not go out to hunt, who will pay the shopping bills? You should always allow your man, to take care of you. If he offers you am opportunity to become a socialite, a status that can only be conferred on high class women, take it immediately! Do not degrade yourself to be a working class woman, it is a low status that shows that the man is not able to support your upkeep as a lady.
Once you are elevated to your new status as a socialite by your man, mix with other socialites only, ladies of your society. Organise parties to increase the influence of your husband, buy clothes that are fashionable for high society, patronise luxury hotels to have high tea with other tai tais. By preserving your social status, you preserve the social prestige of your husband, and he will love you more for that. Could you imagine, if you rot away at home doing house work, and becoming old and haggard in the process? Never allow the deterioration of your beauty and influence over him. Hire a maid, or two maids. One for housework, and one for children. When your children are of age, send them to boarding school. Don’t let them become distractions to your marriage life. Once they are in boarding school, rekindle the romance, go out for more dates, and let the sparks fly.
6. Ladies: Invest in Lelo, Men: Invest in Cars
Ladies, if you have not heard of Lelo, its about time you gained enlightenment on the pleasurable aspects of the female anatomy. You should not ever consider degrading your body to one night stands or trysts with the opposite gender. Your chastity is a virtue, and the most heavily guarded secret in the woman’s world is no other than Lelo. If you do not know what it is about, google it. Aunt Popkins is a old fashioned woman, who supports technological advancements. Lelo has been the best investment I have ever made, especially when my husband makes long business trips. I do buy these gifts regularly for my other socialite friends as well, and we do share our saucy intimate details to gossip about during tea time. *laughs wickedly*
For men, you testosterone fueled men, invest well into cars. If you are not into cars, watches will do as well. Cars are preferred as driving is an outlet to release all those pent up aggressive emotions at work you experience, before you land into your ladies lap in the bedroom. German made cars impress the women, but sports cars are a turn off. A well groomed lady prefers cars that are driven by a man in a safe manner, no reckless driving, no alchohol, and definitely no BJs. *looks at boys in the class*
– – – – – –
This is the end of my introductory lesson. For the ladies, you can continue to sign on with my make up and etiquette classes to secure your chances of marrying well. For the men, focus on making good money, to increase your chances of being considered by the women. Thank you and good evening.
The Language of Love – Tango
Love comes in many different forms, and in my humble opinion, Tango, is one of the expressions of love.
This dance has the intensity, the intense chemistry between two bodies, synchronizing with each others moves, to unite as one. It was said that God created the image of himself in two genders – men and women. By uniting in dance, we are once again recreated in God’s ideal image. How beautiful can that be?
Just observe their dance, observe their paradoxes, of love and hate – push and pull – looking left and right – in suspense – in fear – but with deep passion – deep passionate love. Notice the outstanding beauty of the lady dancer, as her male counterpart swings her into the movements he wants her to portray, like the frame of a painting, he acts as the backdrop – while, she stuns the audiences with her grace and eloquence. In tango, the lady is the main star of the show, while her man, is almost invisible, notice how he leads her forward into the audience, into the center of attention, into the center of desire. Observe how she slides onto him for support, for assurance – observe how she tries to walk away, while he pushes her back into his arms.
Listen, to the language of love they are trying to speak. Listen, and have faith.
Girls and Lads
I asked a Raffles Girl
If she was looking for a boyfriend
She asked, “Does he have power?”
I replied, “No, but he has money.”
“Find me one with power and I will consider”
She replied, while feverishly working on her assignment, looking down at her laptop.
“Thank you for the coffee.” She hummed, as she flew off to the next appointment.
I asked a Singapore Chinese Girl
If she was looking for a partner
She asked, “Does he have money?”
I replied, “No, he does not have money, but he has character.”
“It’s ok, I have money. If he is interesting, I will keep him.”
She grinned while sipping her coffee with her legs crossed suggestively.
She prodded a cupcake with her finger, before licking it up like gold.
I asked a Margaret’s Girl.
If she was looking for a mate
She asked, “Is he husband material?”
I replied, “He works 9 – 8pm, wears a white collar and sharp shoes.”
“That is stable, I will consider.” She looked soulfully at the foam on top of her coffee.
She held the cup up to her eye level, “It is in the shape of a leaf! Amazing!”
She sipped a little, foam covered the top of her lips like a little mustache.
With a quick swipe with a tissue to remove the foam from her lips, she quipped daintily,
“So, when can you arrange a date for us?”
I asked a St Nicholas Girl
If she was looking for a man
She asked, “Is he athletic and well groomed?”
I replied, “He is tall, dark and handsome, with money, and power.”
She searched my expression for clues, if I was lying, ignoring her coffee.
“Show me one with substance, and I will consider.” She looked at her mobile phone
and continued to whatsapp her girlfriends.
I asked a Neighbourhood School Girl,
If she was looking for someone to spend her life with
She asked, “Is he handsome? Is he able to sing? Is he strong?”
I replied, “He is simple, decent looking, I am not sure about singing… but he is solid.”
She considered my response, and fidgeted a little in her tiny chair, trying to find a sweet spot of comfort. “Does he have a stable job?” She asked while stirring her coffee constantly. “Yes he does, he has been working for five years.” I replied, noticing she has laid down her spoon. Her hands moved towards her chin length fringe, and she put a lock back behind her ears. She bent over and whispered nervously in mandarin, “Lets go out together in a trio, and see what happens.”
Lads and Boys
Listening to my Dad’s advice to date 100 different men before I settle for a boyfriend, I have categorised them into several patterns, based on the school they studied in, in true Singapore fashion.
A few lads from Anglo Chinese School
They were arrogant, yet charming
They spoke of conquering the world
And a woman who will give them a challenge of a lifetime
When I showed them what a real woman is about,
they backed down and cried.
A couple from Victoria School
They wrote poetry, sang love songs, and strummed the guitar
They were hopeless romantics, eloquent in Shakespeare and Monet
He wanted my heart, but I could not answer.
Is there a future in literature, I asked.
He assured me, “I will be a teacher, to spread the art of words.”
Bewildered, and lost, I ran away to the next.
A drip from Maris Stella
They fought with valour, with courage
They showed me what a man must be
strong and tough, a hardened shell, with no weakness
He wanted my hand, and my trust,
but he did not hold his promises.
I caught him sleeping with another girl the next day.
A number from St Andrews
They had old money, and spoke of aristocratic roots
Of businesses, politics and dominating the society
He asked me to be his socialite, to be his trophy wife
I told him, thank you for the offer
But I have a mind of my own.
And it is not for yours to keep.
A stalker from a Neighbourhood School
He followed me home everyday, from school to the bus stop
He gave me chocolates, flowers and all the sweet temptations of the world
He asked for my kisses, which I gave innocently
He asked to be his stead, which I did not understand,
Did he meant for me to be his horse?
I gently declined, after kissing him one more time.
….
PS:
On the side note, my Dad is from Victoria School, who won my Mum’s heart with his poetry. He taught me how to write when I was a child. This post is dedicated to my lovely Dad, who worries that I will not find the right man, but I am sure, I am the right woman when that right man comes.
5 Loves by Wong Fu Productions
Amazing and heart felt, Wong Fu Productions addresses the 5 Loves. The main actor explains tenderly to his girlfriend (which is strange because I rarely hear guys speaking about their feelings so eloquently) to her question on the five girls who were before her, by describing them as “Who, What, Where, Why and Whom.”
This video reaffirms my faith in love, and never to give up believing that love exists.
It is not an illusion, or just a feeling… it is what we are made of!
I found the part on his fifth love, tragic. It was a love, that never got a chance to love, because it did not manifest itself, because she had a terminal illness, and her life will end before she got a chance to love. This is the kind of love, that we might not experience, because we do not know when will life claims us, before we have a chance, to even try. It is philosophical to think about it, but better now than never I guess. You have not really lived, untill you love someone deeply….
From personal experience, I am quite sad to admit, that most people do not understand love for what it is in the modern world of materialism. Love is something you can’t chase, or achieve, or score points in. Love is not a game, it is not a play hard to get, or push pull effect. Love is not something, that is reasoned with, or that it is logical. Love is definitely not practical, practical love is akin to prostitution. Love is, what it is, love. It is a myriad of experiences, of passions, of emotions, and of a faith – in the future and the beauty it brings.
Love is a game that two people can win – Eva Gabor
About AVER LIM
AVERRAL - The assertion of the truth. The creator behind The Scarlet Queen YouTube and Red Hourglass Novel Series.
She does experimental flash fiction on this blog, along with song, movies and character analysis using historical and literature references.
