Target
Once you set your aim
Never stop believing in it
Never give up
Work towards it
No matter what others say
Don’t let them affect you.
Keep working towards it
And you will finally reach there.
Protected: Dark Little Phoenix
Dark Secret
I am pissed off at myself right now cuz i am still using Adobe Photoshop 7.0.
Scream
Screaming into the night
Screaming into the chilling air
Scream till it all fades
Scream till it all disappears
Scream till the skies breaks apart
Scream till the earth cracks
Scream till my lungs burst
Scream till my tears bleed
Scream… till my death.
Time Kills
Our existence is temporary.
Nothing can stop time from running.
Tick … tick … tick.
Gone.
Memories.
Flashes.
Love.
Lights above…
“Come towards me…. towards the light
You will be safe in heaven. ”
Fading.
Yellow Tunnel
A yellow tunnel that keeps recurring in my dreams,
decided to try to make some sense out of it.
I was running down a bright yellow tunnel in a sunflower dress
While you were chasing me from behind…I was happy in it… laughing and smiling while running away
Turning back to glance at you while you followed me from behind.There was so many obstacles, zig zac boulders in front of us,
We had to avoid them by running left and right, up and down.We tried to reach the end, but it didn’t matter even if we didn’t
We were having a time of our lives in it, and that is all it matters.
Creative Mind
I think my brain is overclocking one hundred miles per second so it is going haywire out of control mode.
Criteria for Hyper Attention Deficiency Disorder
I. Either A or B:
- A. Six or more of the following symptoms of inattention have been present for at least 6 months to a point that is disruptive and inappropriate for developmental level:
-
- Often does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities.
- Often has trouble keeping attention on tasks or play activities.
- Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.
- Often does not follow instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions).
- Often has trouble organizing activities.
- Often avoids, dislikes, or doesn’t want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework).
- Often loses things needed for tasks and activities (e.g. toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools).
- Is often easily distracted.
- Often forgetful in daily activities.
Never occurred to me that i may have suffered from ADHD during my childhood so i was standing outside class most of the time forgetting to bring my stuff to school or finish my homework. My teachers did ask reprimand me and call up my parents for being so forgetful. The problem was never solved, it lasted through my whole school life. Now, it is starting to make alot of sense.
“Yes, a child or adult with genius is running overtime and may even think in their sleep. It is a combination of brain mind, and more the invisible than the visible. Thinking a lot is not harmful but the norm. Check Davis dyslexia theories. Geniuses think in fast-frame mode. They are so fast they know the future. It’s about speed and insight. Indeed, it is a disaster when a brilliant mind is ignored and a person confined to the status quo.”
It is so true that i want to rip my brain out right now so i can be normal.
” I can also understand mental instability. I can understand that many highly intelligent people have radical ideas that draw them away from traditional institutions of learning and living, and take them down paths that others consider strange. . . . “
Hehe. I see my hello kitties dancing, is that strange?
Rat maze metaphor of the creative mind. Our brain metaphor presented earlier does not suffice to efficiently explain the mind in the creative mode. It is the creative mind where the parallel processing of neural networks comes to play in a most prominent way. Your PC can run many processes in parallel (e.g. display this article, scan TCP/IP ports, run multiple service threads, run background applications, etc.). None of these, however, comes close to what is happening in your brain right now. Zillions of neural assemblies and centers get activated and inhibited in parallel fighting for your attention, running voluntary and involuntary control processes, filtering information or amplifying it, etc. In addition, the text you are reading produces processes that are in part hidden from your attention and may, at any minute, spring up with new inspiration or a creative breakthrough.
Some people are born with highly creative minds. They invent new things faster than they can be utilized. However, the same people are at much higher risk of mental disorder. They may also show less ability to focus or persist. They may crave novelty that makes them jump on new tasks before old once are complete. However, the way their prefrontal cortex harnesses creativity may determine the thin line between a true inborn genius and mental disease.
If increase in creativity was purely beneficial, it would have certainly been far better promoted in the course of evolution. However, evolutionary development of creative powers had to be matched by the development of executive powers that govern attention. Otherwise side effects of creativity would act as an evolutionary ballast: low-stress tolerance, relationship problems, increased suicide rate, increased divorce rate, risk and novelty seeking, tendency to get bored, increased risk of mental disorders, etc.
Conclusion: Creative balance is the key! There is an optimum level of creativity for any given task. You can learn to stimulate and extinguish creativity. Your genes will largely determine how difficult it is for you to control your creativity. Your skills in that respect may determine if you ascend from average mind towards genius without falling into a variety of mental ailment traps.
I hope to retain my sanity at the meantime.
Readings: How to become a creative genius?
I haven’t really told anyone before but when i am online, i usually have around 10 different window browsers open. I switch inbetween them at a very fast speed. Usually i have one for my mp3 player, dictionary.com , wikipedia.com , google.com , friendster, facebook, msn, cpanel, occassionally youtube, forums etc. They are all opened at once and i view them stimulanteously. Then again no one really sat beside the computer to watch the speed i do things. Sometimes i write a poem in less then 5minutes (but i take 3 days to think about it). My mind is on accelerated mode …. over the last few days i been learning about camera lenses… now i can tell the difference in the bokeh and what type of lenses at what focal length to achieve the effect.
Helpppppppppp.
Protected: Kiss
Flashes
Our reality is made up of our perception of the world.
Sometimes when i see people around me, i see them in flashes.
There will be someone running in front of me, in a flash, he is gone.
There will be someone crossing the road, a car goes past, in a flash, he is gone.
I have been seeing things around me in flashes for a long time.
Sometimes i don’t know what is real and what is not.
Drifting in and out of reality conciousness
It gets to me sometimes, then i will start thinking about my life
and what i want to accomplish.
I don’t want to be like the ordinary human being,
whose lifetime on earth will be once forgotten when he is gone.
“Flash” and that is it, removed from the traces of history.
I feel quite afraid to think about it, that our existence is so limited
our physical bodies are so fragile… it disintegrates over time and
soon enough we are getting old and weak… ashes to ashes… dust to dust.
Maybe i am too affected thinking about death.
I saw my uncle during chinese new year, happy and joyful
Yesterday, he died of a heart attack. He was in his 60s.
Life is just so unpredictable…
Maybe that is why i wrote my will.
Have you thought about what will happen when you are gone…?