In this video, the butterfly is eaten by a praying mantis, that is turn eaten by a serpent. The serpent dies and flowers bloom from it’s decay. The world is filled with beauty once more.
The butterfly (woman) and praying mantis (man) meets in the serpent’s body (joined as one entity). The flowers bloom (beauty reasonates from their union in the decay of the serpent) fills the world with their love.
Such is a love that contributes love, beauty and knowledge to the world over.
Filmed this to make a total of 4 music interpretation videos a month ago after losing 4 kg and writing my third book at the same time. Sadness with a depth of longing and yearning is one of the hardest emotion for me to express on stage. For years I couldn’t reach that core of vulnerability so I couldn’t film as Cheryl. She disappeared entirely from the series. But now Cheryl is back with Risque and the Scarlet Queen. I am glad that I have successfully managed to keep a solo theater production acting as three characters ongoing for 4 years without giving up. It is my original master artwork in motion. I hope my channel inspires the next generation of artists who pursue theater and arts to pursue their artistry in new alternative mediums such as YouTube.
Hi gaming friends, if you find me please be in touch with me by sending me a message on CONTACT. I would love to connect back with you. I had been meeting and catching up with guild mates who had found me online via my blog or facebook. I would love to know what you are doing in life now. My previous positions are listed below for easy search on Google.
AverRal Renewal Online, Dark Palace, Guild Leader of Overkill (2000 – 2002)
AverRal Ragnarok, Chaos, Guild Leader of IxIAversion (2002 – 2004)
AverRal World of Warcraft, Thaurissan, Guild Officer of Clique (2006 – 2007)
Other games you may have seen me play in lanshops – DOTA, Counterstrike, Left for Dead.
I quit gaming for good after our guild became top in the server and I raged quit WOW with my best friend.
The best part is I got my best friend back in real life.
Applying the same skills in gaming in business management proved to be a valuable asset.
Hope to catch up with old friends to know what you are doing in life. I am reminising those great times we had.
I was slow to pick up language. I could not speak a word of Hokkien dialect although my grandmother raised me up. I could not understand what she said and I had to point or guess.
Mandarin was a challenge and I never mastered the language. I still jumble my words conversationally. During my vacation in Taiwan, I could not read most menus in classical mandarin characters.
French was another hurdle. I spent hours on memorizing grammatical structures and I still occasionally type in a word or two in French as many root words in the English language are French words anyway. I gave it up as the only language I truly need to be masterful at in my lifetime is English.
Being dyslexic, even arranging name tags in alphabetical order in neat rows makes me pespire in cold sweat. I still miss out on a letter or two and have to rearrange the rows.
Organizationally, I had been a messy person but I had been systemically categorizing all there is to do in my life in a few key folders. I clean up my desk and compile my works every week. Every now and then, I stumble upon something I wrote or did and I forgot completely I did it years ago. But recently I have been focused on urgent projects and closed the trivia ones. By focusing on the main projects, I no longer have memory lapses.
While I am writing this on a high speed train from Kaohsiung to Taipei to board my flight, I realised my language delayed development is due to my dylexic condition. However I could potentially overcome it by just being present, focused and “disappearing” my identity. The universialism that spills on page can be the “me” that is channeling the universial consciousness while “I” disappear and dissipate into the cosmos.
I look forward to returning home. I miss dancing to no nights end. I miss writing till my memory collapses and I fall into a deep dreamless sleep. I miss my cat and her soft purs while she lays her head on my feet. I miss laughing loudly with my friends. I miss my grandparents and my dad. I am missing all these although it has only been a week.
I will be back in full creative production for my novel, videos, business and holding the space for world leadership to arise in all areas in my life by simply being who I am – a source of empowerment to all around me.
The lyrics of this song is magical on many levels. It speaks about a love that is beyond time distance and form, flowing through different timelines, different reincarnations, the seasons and the wind and the sun. It speaks of a love that transcends all reasons and it is held in the heart of her palm.
I have admittedly, shamefully, been unable to write about love or analyse love stories of any kind for ten years. I am able to do so now, as I finally forgave and accepted my past. There is a profoundness in acceptance that love is there, beyond physicality and through different reincarnations. For this, I am able to analyse this love song.
“My left-hand holds an empty heart. My right palm holds a heart entrenched in love. My fingers interlock to hold prisoner the essence of the heart. The sacrifice of our love is embedded deeply in my bones.”
These lines mean that her left hand is holding an “empty heart”. Which means the love has not been returned. But she is holding faith by using her right palm to “hold prisoner the essence of the heart.” That the love is embedded deeply in her bones is a symbolisation that she will never forget the love that is there.
“After seven reincarnations, we must wait another hundred years.”
There is a Chinese belief that if we do not resolve or said what there is to say in this lifetime, it will bring forward to the next life due to incompletions. It will flow to our next life, to the next till it reaches a resolution, a clear ending. If we deny the truth, the truth will follow us till the next life, where we will meet the exact same situation again, and we are given an opportunity to choose to complete the ending. If we do not choose to complete, it will flow to the next life and the next.
“You are fate. You are thundering hoofbeats. Being the passion of my love, you chased me through the icy sky and snowy ground.”
These lyrics symbolises admiration of her lover, that he is her fate. He had chased her to the ends of the earth, and she had loved him passionately through these moments. It is believed in ancient Chinese culture that we will only meet this kind of love rarely in our lifetime, and if it reaches to the point of ecstasy, it is due to a reincarnation from the past that overflows to this life.
“Until a thousand arrows pierce my heart, my heart will only give up then.”
It is believed that love dies when the heart dies, that even with 999 arrows, she will not give up her love, till her heart dies in a metaphorical sense.
“If it is all possible I will use my life to save yours.”
In this profound ending of the song – she is in full knowledge that she is willing to die for her lover and give her heart to him to save him. With this full knowledge of the fact she will wait 100 years for the next reincarnation to repeat this love story and hopefully, they will be together in that lifetime.
I am using the tools I learnt on my calendar after attending a seminar called Mission Control. It is probably one of the most powerful courses out there on how to manage time, and use the context of time to fulfil on our fundamental concerns of what matters to us. I had been on a mission to master mission control, which is to utilise time, second by second, to fulfil on my projects and deadlines, which surprisingly, I am way ahead of schedule by powerfully applying the tools learnt.
In the context of time itself, it is about how we intentionally create time, and in creating time, we create more time. It is interesting to note that we think we don’t have enough time, but in fact, most of us don’t utilise our time fully. We don’t know exactly how long a task takes. Or how long we are doing something, or if we are actually accomplishing something by doing that thing, or spending more time to do the thing we can’t do. It could be wiser to delegate and outsource. Or it could be wiser to automate and set recurring events to create time to study/research/practice an activity we would like to work on. Fundamentally, we can create time out of nothing, and in doing so, free us up to explore more interests and spend quality time with loved ones.
I had started to put in my weight loss goals into my calendar. Somehow that method had resulted in me losing 4kg this year. I have recurring events on how much calories to consume, and how much workouts to do. Similarly, with my book production schedule, there is a set goal of accomplishment to finish a certain portion of my book. I wish I had learnt these tools while I was in university, so I wouldn’t have to stay up to 6 am to complete my assignments on time. Nevertheless, these tools are enabling me to master the context of time, and I look forward to attending Advanced Mission Control to explore the next frontier of what I want to accomplish in 1000 years.
The distinction I got is that there is a difference between being a writer, and a creator of worlds. I am a creator of worlds, not a writer. A creator of worlds creates new realities, new possibilities and new ways of being. I am a creator on unorthodox mediums. My YouTube Channel has 2 million views on a solo production with over a hundred videos. My book downloads will trespass the 100 000 mark to hit a million by 2021. My blog has over 700 posts.
The only way I can reach the next stage of my new way of being of being a world renowned author is to shatter my old identity. Shattering my old identity by destroying it completely and reinventing a totally new way of who I am today. Who I am is my word. I am shattering my old identity as of today. I am shredding the parts of inauthenticities and comfortableness of being ordinary. I am taking on being uncomfortable, challenged and creative. I am taking on being unreasonable with myself on a daily basis. I am taking on working out and keeping to a diet to maintain peak performance levels. I will no longer be deterred by my fears,
I am taking on being uncomfortable, challenged and creative. I am taking on being unreasonable with myself on a daily basis. I am taking on working out and keeping to a diet to maintain peak performance levels. I will no longer be deterred by my fears, demons and past. My past will no longer have a hold on me. From this moment on, there is only a forward pull towards greatness. There is an inherent power within me as I write this.
I had denied my own inner power to live a comfortable life. But from this moment on, no more. By shattering my old identity, it means being uncomfortable. It means doing things I will normally not do. Taking actions beyond my old comfort zones. Being unreasonable with life, and taking a stand from where I am standing from to move from ordinariness towards greatness.
When my identity is no more, a universal self-emerges. I will not be in the way of my universal self. I will let it be who I am as the natural way I am being. I will be holding myself out as my universal self that connects to all regards of culture, countries or languages. What I create will resonate as one shared humanity, and the impact of my creations will be radiated into generations to come.
I will unleash my inner power and take on powerfully a life I love and to live an extraordinary life.
The Amercian Dream – the wealth, the women and all the world has to provide for a man. Men would spend their whole lives pursuing the idealism of what it is to be socially accepted in the environment they are in. To get that woman of their dreams, and provide her with everything her heart desires, to be accepted by society as the epitome of success.
Breaking that illusion is that, maybe, it is not it. Maybe it is not about pursuing a woman. Maybe it is not about acquiring all the wealth in the world. Maybe it is just by being true to your heart, being true to who you are, being true to yourself. By answering and being honest with your feelings, by making a simple declaration of love. For all the wealth can’t be bought to the grave. All the hard work it takes to get there – it may be a waste of effort itself. For it is of utmost importance that one dedicates fully themselves to another – without the need for any form of external validation.
Even doing everything it takes to pleases someone may not be the conclusion of the ultimate goal of life to propagate one’s genes to the next generation. It may or may not happen. It could be keeping to life simple pleasures is the answer and solution to what we truly desire. That the desire for the company of a person you love keeps the demons at bay, gives you the reason for existence itself, the air that you breathe and the purposefulness and fulfilment of life.
That it could be that person may or may not be with you physically, but that person could reside in a place in your heart that will last the test of time. That our ego wants what we can’t have, for love is the ultimate service to others, for when we are lost in others, that we find ourselves again. By finding ourselves in the eyes of others, that we can truly discover what is our happiness. That love that is selfish, will lead to pain and suffering, and only by letting go that true love arises.
In the Amercian Dream, that what we desire may be illusions and all it is there to be is to be true to our hearts and honour ourselves for who we are. The past will be in the past, and it will not resurface once it is long gone. We can try to recreate the past, but it will never be in the future. For love resides in a place unseen, and there is no physicality to love itself.
“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” The Great Gatsby
The greatest act of love is to give yourself to humanity for a new reality to arise. That by giving yourself to humanity is the greatest act of disappearing. When there is no more you, your consciousness will live on in the universe. Once your consciousness lives on, it will forever be part of humanity. Writing is a direct access to this power of universal consciousness, for every word we write is immortalised. For this, I chose to give myself to being an author of worlds till the end of my time.
I accept the way things are, and the way things aren’t. By accepting and not resisting against the currents, I am free to flow with the galaxy and cosmos of light. I am disappearing myself into the cosmos. Standing from a blank space of nothingness, and emptiness, I am free to create. I got how insignificant of a human being I am, a speck of dust in the grand scheme of the ever expanding universe. As I write, new universes are being created, the universe is continuously expanding and there is no human comprehension on how magnificent the universe is.
In my disappearance into the galaxy, I am at one with the flow of the cosmos. I am swimming in the cosmos, creating with my magic wand by consideration. New realities arise as I speak. My words create worlds. I love you. This is my commitment to you till the end of my time. Love can exist beyond time distance and form, there is no physicality, it is just what it is. There is nothing to prove, nothing to hide. It is just there. We are magical when we create each other, and a love that contributes all over is love that impacts the world at large. There is no better way to impact the world than to be who we are as our word for the world, and for each other.
Ever so often Gackt would speak to me through his music. He is singing to my soul, pulling my heart strings, beckoning me into his story. Gackt, a Japanese singer, married a Korean woman during his music career. Soon, the paparazzi stalked his wife till she had no more privacy in her life. She fell into a deep depression, losing her freedom overnight. They parted ways soon after, and he never remarried. He disappeared from the limelight for two years before launching his music albums – Six Day and Seventh Night. They topped the charts in Japan.
The songs in the two albums thugs my heart strings till today, more than a decade later, as they were the most authentic expression of himself. The song, Saikai Story made me tear while I am in the subway station. I could not understand the lyrics but his voice brought out so much emotions stirring within me. In an interview, Gackt said he would never remarry and I never understood why. But now I finally understood.
There is calling beyond oneself, one egoistical self, that we have to experience losing the very thing we are clinging onto that only then the universal expression of ourselves can truly arise out of nothing. In his dedication to his artistry, he had to let go of security in being in a relationship – for the freedom of his spouse. It was for her happiness that he let her go, and for her to find her freedom. To release her from the very monster he created – himself as the truest expression of who he is for the world as a artist.
The truest expression of who I am for the world does not require me to be in a relationship, or have children. In fact, the very worlds I create will last beyond me than any other form of legacies I could leave behind. As an author of worlds, I have the power to create daily.
For this; I choose my artistry. I choose my solitude. I choose my happiness.
